One day you might be a recent college graduate, and have a different circle of friends. Those friends might be thinking about going out, getting a new job, maybe even starting a family. That version of you, might have different dreams, and be at a completely different place in life. The next thing you know, you are starting a new phase of your life. Kids (maybe) and play-dates. Seeing the other moms “keeping it together” but then seeing that one mom who does not have her stuff all together and making eye contact and boom. New friend. Maybe it’s being a single dad, hey you can change your tribe too. Divorce. Marriage. Single. Whatever it is. You have the need for a tribe. We are tribal beings, but sometimes guys. This shit is hard.
I want to make sure I address everyone here, and not just certain types of readers because we are all human. I want to relate to you that it doesn’t matter what phase you are in, if you feel like your tribe no longer fits you, that is because growth has occurred in you, and perhaps they are not there yet. It is possible to change…”level up” as they say and sometimes, sometimes, it can feel like loss.
Here’s a scenario. I had a tribe of friends who liked to judge people. They liked to act like they were not the same as everyone else. They had many sins as do everyone, but they liked to talk about things to the extent of making themselves sick, angry, overweight, anxious, and not do one thing, but talk about it. They are welcome to read this if they still stalk my posts. I am not airing the dirty laundry as I pointed this out to them that doing is different than talking. That I would support whatever act they wanted, but I didn’t want to to bring that sickness, that hating on a certain type of person energy, into my home. I repeated it.
Energy suckers call you to talk about other people and/or want to stalk others profiles. This keeps your vibration low. Arguing with “friends” who live in your neighborhood on social media about politics. This particular friend said the nastiest and I do mean nasty comments on the book of face. Then she would pretend to give a shit about only certain other types of people. Honey. If you can’t even be nice to your neighbors, on a public social media site, then please understand many of us can see through you.
Everyone, and I do mean everyone, needs love. It is not easy, but I was going to teach this circle a few practices that might have helped until the stuff hit the fan and I realized, I was not the problem, nor was I going to be the healer for them, and that was okay. If they didn’t respect me and my boundaries, which I had clearly outlined for two years, if they preferred to be judgemental on a certain type of person, then I was not going to be the one to help them. Period.
So what do you do when you find yourself evolving with no room for any of this??
- Find the block. Why haven’t you moved on from them if you feel sick, used, walked on and not welcome anymore? What beliefs did you once hold that are not true and are not fitting with your old circle anymore? It is something that is difficult. Like…I don’t trust people easily. I let certain few people know things. I would have to start over with this and I felt like it sucked. Furthermore, I felt like I was losing a piece of my kid’s childhood, but then I realized, she too had evolved and we were fine with the making of new friends together. New mom friends can be had at any age…not just little kids.
- Write out what you want. I am magical…with the pen. Seriously. When I get clear, things become so much easier for me. So much so that I teach that to a Club of people all over the world. I remember the night I wrote out what kinds of attributes and traits I would like my friends to have. I can’t make this up. In 2 days, I saw a post about a new meditation circle and made a new group of friends. Seriously. I got very clear. I dropped the ugliness, and boom. Things shifted.
- I had to learn to LET GO. I am not Elsa. I don’t let go as easily as I’d like. I teach myself this and repeat the teachings on a regular basis to my Club, my local yoga circle, and my girls. I talk about this on the weekly chats on the fan page for this blog (and sometimes I am more in tune than other weeks depending on what has happened), and it still is not easy. In fact, I think letting go might be one of the hardest lessons. You can call it surrender, allowing, acceptance, forgiveness and it is still inner work. Whatever you want to package it up as. BUT once I allow myself to do the inner work, and I work at it for a few days, I finally feel the knot release. It usually takes yoga, meditation, journal therapy and a bit more…which is why I teach in this manner. I do not expect you to just write it down and be like it’s done. Yup. Waiting on the things to work out now. Nope. You have to keep doing the work. That’s where alignment to what you want comes in.
One of the F words I like is Faith. I like others too, don’t get me wrong, but faith has gotten me through some really, really, really dark times.
As I work to align myself to the higher vibration of the FEELINGS, the other F word that is important here, I start to feel the shift in my week. It then can last for a while, but guess what? Just like working out that alignment takes practice until one day you do it automatically.
It’s time to shift guys…and if you are ready to learn more and put this in practice RIGHT now, it’s what we are working on this month. Come join us for centering and grounding yoga poses, meditation, journaling to manifest and more woo-wooness in my Tribe. >>> Here is how to find us. <<<
Other things that can help you on your path: