In a world filled with people who want to be liked and compared to others…where teenagers are now amassing thousands of followers on their public Instagram accounts and posting questionable photos and status updates just to keep up (fear of missing out or FOMO), where your college friends have to post every photo of their kid in everything they ever did because “others” are doing it to…you need a blunt friend in your circle.

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ~Elbert Hubbard

One day you will look back on the advice they tried to give you, the talks they tried to have with you and be grateful.  It is difficult dispensing advice nowadays as when I grew up, everyone knew everything, but without social media.  I remember riding my bike across a dangerous highway and my mom knew it before I got back home.  I got a talking to.  I was probably 13 years old or so.  Nowadays, I am not happy with what I see on social media at all and YES, I am verbal about it.

We have lost touch with talking.  Eye signals.  Touch of hands.  Writing letters.  Having a cup of coffee.  Inviting the neighbor in…I have only ever been invited to one person’s house on my entire street.  Never asked to do things with anyone.  Everyone is an island and everyone feels isolated and alone of their own making.

When I hear information that could hurt someone, I don’t even know if other parents are aware or not.  I would hazard a guess to say blissfully unaware.  Check your child’s social media, all of their accounts, and don’t look at it as prying.  Be honest and open and ask them if they were doing stupid things, who is the one friend they would want to be on their side?  Who can they name that genuinely looks out for them?  Ask them and see if they have only fair weather friends…do they have a blunt friend who can be counted on in times of need?

Ask yourself, if you were not doing well, do you have anyone left in your circle who would check on you?  Do you have a friend who would get you to exercise should you need it, or are you surrounded by people who want to be liked?  I recently asked a big group of people that question, and while most people said honest is the quality they prefer over being liked, do you have what it takes to be the blunt friend if everyone is deep in a conversation and you don’t agree?

7 Reasons to Tell Your Blunt Friend Thank You:

  1. They are genuinely worried about the things you are doing to yourself and what you are getting involved in.  Secret people messaging your teen?  Alcoholic tendencies in people you know?  You feel caught up in a whirlwind and don’t know what to do or say.  Always do the right thing.  Always.  According to this study in the Association for Psychological Science, some close friends can purposely tell you things like stop lying to yourself and everyone else in order to help you during a difficult situation.  It doesn’t mean they are trying to hurt you, they actually care.  How you take it says that you might know it is wrong behavior, but again, you have to think long term, and some people can not do that.  To them, they are not hurting anyone but themselves; however, in reality, if something terrible happened to them because of the situation and your blunt friend never said anything, they would blame themselves.
  2. They will tell you the truth at any cost.  A blunt friend is not always going to tell you things that you want to hear.  Like don’t post that photo because you are better than that or don’t drag such and such through the mud in this Facebook war.  The have a high moral code of ethics and sometimes you might not hear things that you are to your liking.  When you remember the talk with your blunt friend later, you might think they were right.  It depends on if you think they genuinely care…or if you are too stubborn to think they are saying things to hurt you instead of help you.
  3. They are NOT passive-aggressive with you.  There are many things I can not stand.  Passive-aggressive behavior comes at the top of my list.  Those people are game players and usually display the tendency to gaslight or turn into a narcissist.  I have time for neither of those in my life.  Are you texting the friend next to the friend to talk about them but smiling in their face?  Do you make passive-aggressive comments to them all the time and joke on them and belittle them?  STOP.  Your other friends will lie to you about how they truly feel, like the dress you asked if it was okay, or the make-up you are wearing, but your blunt friend, is blunt.  Nobody has time for that and they get that.
  4. You know where you stand with them.  One of the reasons to thank them is that they have ZERO reasons to pretend to be friends with someone that they don’t like.  If they don’t like someone, chances are, you know it and why.  Breaking the moral code of friendship conduct for them is high on the list as to a reason they would need to distance themselves from someone.  When a blunt person has decided to like you, they want to be your friend and you should understand where they are coming from to build a strong and lasting friendship together.
  5. They push you to be better.  One of my quotes is to surround yourself with people you want to be like…what you want to become.  Your life will completely change when you break free of the burden of being fake.  And trust me, being fake does NO ONE any good.  Most friends would rather lie because the truth can cause a rift.  Not the blunt friend.  They want you to be a better person because they believe in you.
  6. They won’t let you get harmed or talked about.  A blunt friend is in your corner…you know the saying they’ve got your back?  They do.  If someone spoke about you, they would tell them that wasn’t nice.  You instinctively know this and you know they won’t put up with nonsense.  The wrongdoings of others can be mean, spiteful, malicious and manipulative.  The blunt friend sees this nonsense as part of their game and has no time for it.  Just call it like it is and they are not afraid to fight for loved ones.
  7. They have funny humor and use it in life lessons.  A blunt friend will only joke on someone outside their friend circle if it is a lesson to be learned…they have either a dry wit or sarcastic type of humor where they make ethical jokes that they themselves find funny to use in life lessons.  When they let their guard down, they are funny in a natural way.  They might say “I told you” at the end of the lesson as well, because the truth is, they knew in the end you’d listen and do the right things once you understood they were just being honest to help you along the journey.

It is hard to communicate via text or messenger with the blunt friend.  They are not big on long stories, so face to face is better or over the phone at least.  You might have to introduce these people to your circle slowly as they are honest…and not everyone gets that, right?  But they teach you how to defend yourself.  They want the best for you…and yes, they are disappointed in you much like your parents when you lie to them.  It just isn’t necessary.

I love my blunt friends, my blunt kids, and my very blunt husband.  They are my sounding boards and they know that I sense lies anyway so the truth is far better with me.  You don’t want me to find out something later that they omitted either…that doesn’t end well for them:)  No matter what, I want to know so thank you.

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