The ember of anger…and how to put it out.
I am going to admit that there are times I run really hot. There are things that other people speak about and they just don’t know the real deal. They live in a bubble and seem to enjoy it there, and that’s fine for them, except when things don’t go their way. They then emerge with their new mantle of indignation they have been knitting in said bubble, and proudly display it.
They point their fingers, and place blame. Never having been the one to witness a thing. But many think it feels good to blame so place blame they do.
I get asked all the time, how do I control my anger during times like this?
This is no easy task my friends, especially if you FEEL the anger radiating through your soul. So let’s take 3 deep breaths and walk through a process you can use when this happens.
How to put out the ember of anger:
- Relax. I know it’s hard. You know that burning in your gut like you are about to explode? Maybe it’s that shaky feeling that makes you almost sick? How about clenching of the teeth? Here is what you do. Stop. Just say stop in your head. Now focus on a stop sign visualization. Everything is coming to a stop in your head. Your body. Your reaction. You can control it right now and you are saying stop. Visualize the stopping of thoughts.
- Breathe deeply. Place both feet flat on the floor. Even if you are in front of someone and you are about to go off. Take your shoes off in front of them. They want your anger, remember? Breathe deeply for a round of three.
- Verbally tell them that you need a minute. If they cross that boundary, that is on them, but you told them to give you a minute. Be extra nice. Think of a disarming comment you can make right this minute.
- Identify a miscommunication if there was one, because 90 percent is tone. How did they just say something to you? Did you take it as a personal affront? Was it really a back-handed compliment? Or can you pretend to misunderstand and turn it into a compliment? When you start to use the situation, the anger is then reflected back on them.
- As difficult as it is, stick with “I” statements. I recently had to do this about a situation involving someone who was particularly nasty and thought the world owed him something. He felt entitled to something that was not his in the least and was actually breaking a clear law. No trespassing signs all over the place. Private property. Some people though….feel the world owes them things and that is not on you.
What if you have done all this and the anger lingers?
- Hot bath at home with Himalayan Pink Salt. <<Similar to mine.
- Put on your essential oils in your diffuser or roller ball. Might I suggest this Stress Relief blend? Keep it at work even.
- Keep a Yoga Mat at your desk. Get. On. It. Practice breathing on it and then stretch out for a minute, then pull yourself back together.
- When being Zen fails you, smush the crap out of this Squishy Stress Relief ball, close the door and do whatever you want with it. Ha:)
Last resort, cue the music and go for a dance. Or better yet, dare them to a dance off. Humor always wins.