Understanding…

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”  ~Carl Gustav Jung

If you have been following my blog, you know I usually end with a quote.  Today I needed to focus my thoughts before I started writing, so I decided to begin with this.  Everyone has bad days.  It is inevitable.  It is how you deal with these things that matter most.  I have some acquaintances who do not deal with stress well.  They don’t seem to realize that their mood leaches the life out of me as I am already trying to deal with my own circumstances.  If they needed me to carry their own burdens on occasion, I wouldn’t mind so much if I knew what was going on.  To my knowledge, I haven’t learned how to mind read yet.  It would be a wonderful and rare gift, but I am thankful I do not have it.  I would probably want to run around smacking people if I could read minds.  That being said, conversation is still not over-rated in my opinion.

It would be great if when you met someone, they had one of those little name tags on that said things like “getting out of a marriage, beware” or “going through serious health issues” or possibly even “hates men”.  Whatever your current life situation is at the time you really need a new friend.  Since this doesn’t normally happen, it is time to do some deep soul-searching.  What qualities would you like your new friends to possess?  Honesty is very important to me.  I will not say anything behind your back that I would not say to your face.  If you don’t believe it, try me.  Ask me what I think of something and I’ll tell you.  Will you like my answer?  No, probably not.  That’s why I am glad I have my best friend of 30 years (give or take a few bumpy years).  She tells me like it is and always starts off with “Hear me out first…” (like little ole’ me would have a conniption fit on the phone or something).  You need someone in your life like that.  You can’t go around thinking your ideas are the best thing since sliced bread if they aren’t.

The other thing I need from my friends are people who have the ability to laugh at themselves.  If you are pissed off all the time, you will soon find yourself taking antacids everyday as you continue to be disenchanted with life.  I love to surround myself with happiness because it just works for me.  If you have a sparkling personality, it shows through in everything you do.  You have to commit to change yourself.  Don’t give me that crap about how hard your life is and I don’t understand.  Please.  Keep your excuses to yourself.  I am way ahead of you on that.  It is not easy, and nobody ever said it would be.  Tell that to the paraplegic I saw doing adaptive sports.  That’s right.  He was learning to ski down a mountain on some form of ski sled.

Lastly, what I want in my life right now from friends is understanding.  According to a Chinese proverb, tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.  This is for all my friends.  I am always here for you and you know that.  Sometimes I show up without you even asking me to.  Other times, I might need you to involve me if you really need my help.  Whatever you are going through will pass.  You have to remember that, but hopefully, your friends will remain.

“Understanding is a two-way street.”  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

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