The Judgement Zone (the demise of social media)
I moved to a new house this year. As soon as I did, there were kids running all over my property, throwing rocks towards my daughter’s car, digging in my side yard, and the back part of my property is a protected wildlife estuary. There’s an act that protects estuaries from 1968, and then one signed in 1988 just for the Chesapeake Bay Preservation. The same children later came back and threw candy and trash down in the drainage swale that goes out to this protected area.
Since living here, I have rescued and released a clutch of 11 baby diamondback terrapins (once on the endangered list), seen countless animals on my property, helped save a crab from a child who also had no business on my property doing something I won’t type, and watch bald eagles, blue herons and more just try to live their best lives.
Because I spoke to the children about how they should and will, make no mistake, behave on my property, one of the dads tried to come over to my husband unbeknownst to me, the very weekend we were trying to move in and show him some plot of OUR land he pulled up on his phone and saying that the drainage area was city property (it is not). We own up to it, the other neighbors own up to and the city has the right of way to clean it. BUT be that as it may, why would this be someone’s first instinct? Why wouldn’t you apologize? The children were not told to move their bikes from the parents and they were thrown all over where we park while we were moving in, yet somehow it’s our fault? I guess if they had scratched the cars, it would have been our fault as well for parking in front of the actual house we live in and pay for.
I am concerned about what we now find to be important this year. Correcting others seems to be one thing. Not knowing whole stories, policing what others do, arguing, shaming and judging without even getting to know people.
I have seen the parents as mentioned above start temper tantrum fights in what can only be described as a “gossip group” pretending to be a city informational group and moderators who let it continue.
I have seen people attack people, people come at others just for asking questions, and people who should really evaluate their behavior quite frankly lose their shit for being wrong.
IF you are blaming COVID, politics, your mom/dad/history, loss of a job, etc and your past issues, for how you behave and attack others, I think there’s a bigger issue here.
It feels like we are on a mission to judge everyone on social media and then come at them for posting something. I don’t know if you will see this, but my friend, I’ll have you read this, anyway, she posted that her daughter had a friendsgiving with the same friends she is around at school. She had to post disclaimers all over it before she posted the photo of the food, not the kids, just saying they are in school around each other and “I put the disclaimer in there not necessarily to explain myself but to avoid having anyone coming at me. I don’t have time for that.” If this mom and the other parents felt like their kids could handle it, why would she need to post a disclaimer to us? Sad really that she felt she needed a disclaimer. I said to her on the post, I think we need to stop coming at people anyway. I agree we don’t have time for that. My child is isolated and has not seen anyone this year, but it is mentally draining right now and I think it’s getting to her. This was supposed to be her senior year. I really think as parents we’re all doing the best we can and we’re making calls for our kids based on their mental, physical and emotional health.
I can agree to follow the rules without coming at other people, but I know not everyone believes this. Why do I need to attack others? So is it really outside things that are making us act some kind of way or was it there all along?
Are we coming together or tearing each other apart for the things we believe in and how we want to live our lives? If you post a photo of the sky saying the color is orange and it’s blue, I am going to just say nice photo. Or say nothing really…I can scroll on by.
I feel like we’ve entered another dimension and I don’t know entirely how we’re going to come out of it. If we will in my lifetime. And that my friends, to me, is even scarier than dying. The fact that we don’t recognize we belong to one another and that if we don’t equally take care of the planet, the land, the creatures, each other and stop coming at everything from the perspective that there is only one way that is right (insert your opinion, my opinion, keyboard warrior’s opinion) we are bringing about our collective loss of humanity much faster than expected.
I don’t know if this will resonate with anyone, but I hope you know not everyone is sitting there judging you if you say you don’t like the masks. I get it, I do. If you say it, but you wear it because you personally feel it’s the right thing to do. If you wear it because x,y,z. Or if you don’t like them, want to stay home, and have your stuff delivered, more power to you. I feel like we are spending valuable time and energy in judgement instead of compassion or grace. Instead of understanding. I feel like it’s time to take a step back and pause and reflect. You have no idea if that momma’s kid just broke down because they have no friends and are now even more isolated than they were.
We equally don’t know if that person over there just lost someone to COVID. If that person has a loved one who is immune compromised or if that person over there is a health care worker who is worn slam out. If someone has zero income because of this now and would do anything to make money and make ends meet. Anyway, it’s time we just paused. Let the person have their opinion…and once again, privately message them if you are worried or better yet, call them.
How can we show we belong to one another? Here are a few ways.
- Start a pen pal thing with your friends. Get their address and write them a few letters just because, or an older relative who is alone.
- Privately message someone who posts something that seems off, and ask them if you can call them and chat, but don’t say why in the message. Say you were thinking of them and the times you had and would like to know a great time to call. I did that this summer and we talked for 3 hours. It was well needed.
- Rake, shovel, weed, or sweep a neighbor’s driveway, yard, etc. Just do it.
- Leave a potted plant on someone’s door.
- Leave an extra large tip at the restaurant you visit or pay for someone’s coffee.
- ALSO, she has no idea I am doing this, but please read this post here. My friend Shelia would love it if you printed out these free cards and posted #belikeshane on social media, and you can tell her #theburnedhandFBpage sent you if you want. >> Be Like Shane <<
In full disclosure, I am an empath and I do feel things deeply. I love the soul of the human spirit and I love all creatures, great and small, as well as the land. I often feel like the Lorax, I really do. So this year has been difficult and painful to say the least.
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
― The Lorax
Have a great Thanksgiving week for those who celebrate. Thank you for pausing to read this. Much love. ~Aimee
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