“Everybody” is going…

But Mooooom, everybody will be there.  That’s nice dear.  Grumpy look from under the hair.  I don’t like it when I get my feelings hurt because everybody is talking about how much fun they had.  Look, it’s time you realize something.  There is no one you have to impress but yourself.  It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, we have a prior obligation.  You know what that means.  We have a responsibility.  Sometimes, you just don’t get to do what you want to do.

I am reminded, yet again, of the research that Search Institute started when it released the 40 Developmental Assets your child needs by the time they enter college.  We need to work to expand those assets in young people, but the truth is, most people find it difficult to give clear and concise boundaries.  The research breaks it down for you and explains what your child needs at each age grouping.  On the left side of this website, it shows you in a drop down menu.

I was checking the one for my children, ages 8-12, just as a reference, and I think we have the external assets covered.  The internal assets are where I think my child occasionally struggles; however, I know that if I have set up the right amount of external influences in a positive way, my child will gain confidence internally.  Does this make sense?  So, to make a long story short, it is okay to say no.  It is okay to set boundaries.  It is okay to ask your child questions about their day, each and every day, and help them on the road to success.  It is not okay to make excuses for them.  Help them learn the right way, and by the time high school peer pressure comes around, you will know you have done the best you can.  But keep asking those questions, and setting those boundaries.  Good job parents.

“Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures.”  ~Edwin Louis Cole

Comment

1 thought on ““Everybody” is going…

  1. Of course it’s okay to tell your kids ‘no’. What crack head would think it isn’t? It’s also okay to yell at your kids once in a while when they screw up. Parent/child relationship researcher, George Holden says “If you’re angry at the child, it’s sometimes okay to express that emotion so the child can learn to cope with negative emotion in other people,” but he also says you have to make sure you tell them you love them and that they understand why you yelled at them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

error: Content is protected !!