The State of Being Happy. Why does is seem the harder we reach for it, the more we push it away like a beach ball of water?
I do this really cool thing with my clients during one on one sessions where we get to the root of what is going on, and recently the subject of happiness came up.
Why was someone not happy they pondered?
Well here is the thing. Most of us don’t think about when we are happy, right? It’s just there. Like my favorite book when I was a kid. Happiness is a Warm Puppy by Charles Schulz, the author of none other than Peanuts.
Anyway, I remember trying on play clothes at my grandmother’s house, specifically her wedding dress that she didn’t save in a box for me to wear, but that I wore almost daily over there with her veil and long train to the dress flowing behind me, while the fat weenie dog sat on the train and I carted her all over the house. That my friends, was true and utter happiness.
Year later, happiness came in many forms. My wedding day. Oh man. I thought that day would never come. Literally, as I was diagnosed with my first rare disease that year, but we really weren’t sure what was going on. I could have died, but I didn’t. I made it. >> If you are new, or don’t know all that nonsense (it really is nonsense as I was fine one day then boom like 7 diseases), but anyway if you don’t know that long story it’s on the blog here. << for later reading.
So. While I know what makes me happy, I really changed in the years fighting diseases and started focusing only what didn’t make me happy. It was a difficult 18-year hell-hole that I could have made easier if I had known a few secrets.
I am going to give you 3 MAIN ways right here to jumpstart your day. And I really hope this helps you to think about what you are focusing on…what makes you happy, or what doesn’t make you happy.
The very first thing I learned to do was to FOCUS on the positive.
I learned that Gratitude was half the battle. I started journaling every single night, even when I was at my lowest at my most pain (in case you don’t know, I have had my skin basically fall off at points from my blisters popping during one disease phase, that was before my wedding so I didn’t do the “hand” photos back then as my hands were full of scars, I was fatigued to the point of feeling like I was walking and living in quicksand, my gut tried to kill me, well food, but I was bloated, stabbing gut pains, and then my body decided to be in pain 24/7 for 5 years where I almost couldn’t walk), anyway that long story is all documented on the archives of the blog.
People would say “I can’t do it because of x, y, z and you don’t know my pain.” NO. That is bullshit. While I would never tell another soul that their pain is less or more than mine, I know pain. IF someone like me can do it, I know you can do it as well. YES, it is hard. But we don’t focus on gratitude because PAIN becomes familiar and we have forgotten what it was like to live.
I learned that you will have bad days…but you don’t have to stay there. I have lost friends who wanted to stay in the “bad place”, Netflix reference, and never come out. I tried my best to help them over YEARS, and I am not kidding. I spent YEARS trying to bring them over to the light side or what have you, before I realized that was not my JOB, it was theirs. Even as a wellness coach, it is NOT my job to make another person happy. It is solely their job. Happiness is an inside job and the first step if to decide you don’t want to stay there. I can’t make you do that, your doctor can’t make you do that, your counselor can’t make you do that. THAT is YOUR job. And if you have a friend who says they can’t be your friend UNLESS YOU CHEER THEM UP, what kind of shit is that anyway?
We are even more isolated than ever before because WE are measuring our happiness off what we see on social media or what WE think someone else has. Perhaps guys, it’s time to take a look back at yourself like the Old Spice man would want you to do. Ride that horse with the thing you want…anyway. Not sure who gets that reference BUT CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.
Lastly, I learned NOT to IGNORE MY BODY. The signs were all there that I was needing a big change. The first came in 2012 when I stopped eating gluten…and then in 2013 when I dropped white, processed sugar. I learned how to read labels and trust me, back then, it was not easy to do this. People thought I made up my allergies and that because I had autoimmune I was just wanting to lose weight. YES. Sure. That’s it. I live in the south where BUTTAH and BREAD are attacking me and it’s fun to just drop it. Nope. It was not fin. It was not easy, but I learned to do what I had to do to heal.
My people. Stop pretending you want to change. If you really want to change, you are going to listen to the signs your body is giving you. Sure this might piss you off, and trust me, I get it. I was mad as hell over my body trying to shut down, but the alternative was DEATH. And I am not lying. I almost died. My gut reaction to what I was eating was so severe that I was swinging into the lowest depression I had ever been in and I was ignoring it. This is not good. Your body gives you these signs for a reason and it’s time to listen.
If you are ready to have a good, long look at what you really want in life, and to learn how to bring that towards you faster, I invite you to check out my Mastery Level club here.
This week alone we have shifted some very stagnant energy and moved into pulling the good towards us faster so that we don’t wake up thinking the same thoughts as yesterday. Nope. One message I got was that a member immediately felt lighter after our master class session. I would love for you to experience that as well. Speak to you soon!