A Study on Perpetuating Mean Girl Behavior as an Adult
Mean Girls. You know the ones. They travel in packs. Here’s a breakdown of the years and some possible scenarios you might witness:
High school- hormones, usually jealous of the “it” girl or the girl who doesn’t even know she’s the “it” girl. People like this girl so it fuels jealous behavior and/or romantic jealousy. The made-up girls have on the most make-up, nails and hair and don’t like natural looking girls who are popular. Geeks do their own thing too and might be targeted.
College- the High School mentality is still intact. The girls think the way to make “friends” is to gossip, talk about people and make 1 the hated person. With the rise of social media, it can be groups, screenshots, making fun of appearances that are nor the norm. A cycle of bullying due to their own unresolved BS.
As these women mature, they continue to keep this type of mentality. You will notice the strong women do not play into this. Those women go off and make their own groups or tribes and can’t be bothered to participate in this type of nonsense.
As the mother stage begins, it happens all over. Who makes the best treats? Who looks the best picking the kids up? Who is a room mom? Who plans the best birthdays? Sickening behaviors continue leaving other less popular or introverted mothers feeling left out. Even if the children are friends. It becomes difficult for introverted mothers to be around this type of behavior. Social media posts about themed birthdays and how everything appears in place. The child of this type of mom feels the need to be perfect. This kind of child might grow up to behave in a similar fashion.
The businesswomen will find this to be true whether they decided to have children or not. They will be perpetually asked about their decisions and many women in their circle will try to one up them as well. False happiness on promotions and more. Travels that another in their circle must plan more elaborately than the next.
And let’s not forget the women who wear their husband’s rank. Whoa. These Military women are some of the cattiest I have ever seen at their events (not all, mind you, we are talking about the bitch boss behavior of mean girls, remember). It baffles the mind. All of this. Women breaking off and making secret groups, women who lie to another’s face. One such woman rarely talked to me at events, but upon seeing another woman she hadn’t seen in a long time that she apparently completely fell out with, she grabbed onto me in the hostess’s kitchen. The unsuspecting hostess took a photo of the woman grabbing me and had no idea she was busy gossiping away about this guest of hers.
But I want to break down this behavior for you today my friends. I want to really investigate why a grown-ass woman in her 50’s would continue to perpetuate this type of behavior.
The Mean Girl Anatomy
- Self-esteem. As children, they were told they needed to look better. Do better. Why can’t you be like (insert so and so). They were not told they were good enough. In fact, to this day, they probably don’t remember a compliment they were given by their parents or caregivers.
- Shame. They really need to read Brene Brown and understand how being vulnerable isn’t a weakness. Take my example above. When the woman grabbed on to me, she was vulnerable. I listened. Not because I believed her version, but because she was being open. The problem was after that; she felt shame instead of relief at being open. So, to combat that, she did something else mean and nasty and behaved in a way that made her look good to her peers. There were many ways she could have handled what she was doing, but she chose to use nasty behavior as it was probably what she knew and has used her entire life to cope.
- Religious beliefs. Ohhh boyyy. There’s so much to unpack here. I recently heard a story about someone going to church and praying and then apologizing for her behavior only to do the same thing the very next day. Like it’s okay to behave this way if I confess and don’t change anything. I am not an expert, but I really don’t think that’s what God or whatever religion you practice wants you to do (Bless Your Heart).
- Fakeness. There is never a real face shown. Be it by make-up, plastic surgery, procedures, or whatever, you won’t see because the idea is if you look perfect, you must be. The illusion of having everything together, to them, is an outside job. They never got the memo that is, in fact, an inside job.
- Wealth. Now this wealth can be fake as well. It can be cars, house, fake wonderful husband, fake friends who would turn on you in a heartbeat, whatever, but they see it as power. With this they use it to persuade others. The weaker women want this kind of life, so they listen to this and believe it to be true “power” instead of seeing it for what it is. True wealth is happiness, health and real friendship, but not everyone learns this lesson.
- A forked tongue. Oh yeah. You better believe if they are talking about someone to you, you might be next. Here’s the interesting thing about being made a villain in their story. The person wouldn’t break a fingernail to help someone…but the villain in their story. I bet you could call them up and ask for help and even if you thought you burned a bridge, they’d say what time do you need me? I really want you to think about that when you listen to stories about people.
What has happened to these grown women?
I was reading about the Freudian concepts and the modern interpretation.
Here’s the transcript:
Superego
Freud vs. Mean Girls
The Id
Many of Freud’s ideas are still used today. One idea that is particularly perpetuated often is the id, ego, superego model of human behavior.
We will use the movie Mean Girls to explore Freudian themes in the modern psychology and human behavior of teenage girls (something we can all relate to.)
The id is our innate animal instinct. It is supposedly the only personality trait present since birth and is responsible for primitive instincts. The id is ruled by the pleasure principle which wants instant gratification and thinks only for itself. Notice how the Cady compares the teenage social scene to that of animals at the watering hole.
Then the superego kicks in. The superego is the part of your personality that ties the id and ego together by morals. The moral standards come from parents and society. Cady knows that what she has done is wrong. So, her superego kicks in to fix it.
Id vs. ego
The ego is the part of the personality responsible for dealing with reality. It is practical and governed by the reality principle. The ego strives to get what the id wants but in socially acceptable ways. Cady wants to settle her dispute like an animal, but instead she abides by social rules of “girl code” and will find other ways to act out her wants. Sometimes you can’t control yourself and the id wins, then this happens.
In the last part of the scene, the “Burn Book” gets out. Today that would probably be screenshots of what someone says. Just remember, what you put out there, comes back to you, but there are also two sides to every story. Think long and hard about the person’s energy and what they put out there. Screenshots don’t show you the whole picture, but actions just might. Who helps others? Who repeatedly says what do you need? Just think about it. Putting on a show is just that. A show.
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