As you start to dig deeper into your soul, undoubtedly, things will come up that you thought you had dealt with before. Your head is feeling a bit groggy as you wake up, and you are trying to remember the last bit of a dream. The thing is, it’s the same old thought pattern you’ve had before and it isn’t doing you a bit of good now. Not when there is nothing at all you can do to go back and change the past.
It’s unsettling, really. There is an eerie quietness around you, almost like the calm before the storm and things keep coming up. There is a high stress level, or type of anxiety that you can feel. It’s palpable. Your relationships feel incomplete. Almost as if you are going through the motions. There is so much more to the world than this masquerade, really.
At times you might fluctuate between feeling fulfilled to feeling empty and drained. Unfortunately, you feel drained more often than not. Friendships don’t have the luster they once held for you…they might, if you could really feel connected to them instead of withdrawn, but you know that they are not being open with you, and so you too, must hold part of yourself back as well.
What happens during this growth process?
When we are in a place of “growth”, it can often be interpreted as struggle. We feel confused, drained, unsure and perhaps even lonely in this place for a while. We feel as if this hellish stage is going to last forever, but the truth is, it is only a moment out of our vast experiences and it propelling us ahead to learn more. Sometimes, you try to compare your growth to another person’s and that just makes things worse.
It’s like comparing your DNA, the thing that makes you “you”, to anyone else in the world. It’s just not realistic. We might want to hit the fast forward on this uncomfortable phase, but in no way shape or form is that going to help us get to the growth that is specific to our soul. It’s almost like it was preordained. Wait a minute? What if it was?
How we can get comfortable during this process:
- Be aware of your thoughts. You might experience some strange recurring thoughts during this time. One of the best ways to deal with the shifting thoughts is just being aware that they are there, and then letting them go. If you notice yourself staying stuck in the past or even the future, get realigned with the present moment by focusing on your breath. I teach different breath work exercises to my Club, but the easiest is just holding your hand on your belly, right above your belly button and feeling the breath rise and fall as you repeat the words “I am breathing in. I am breathing out.”
- Let the tension out. Pain is there to remind us that we are holding something in. I have been there, and I know that the last thing anyone in pain ever feels like doing is moving, but you have to really (my story here if you want a brief overview). As we work on getting the stagnation out of our lymphatic system, we start to feel better and movement helps us tremendously. Even baby steps can help you as you move a little bit each day like I go over in 4 Weeks to Wellness, but you do want to move. remember that struggle proceeds the growth. Pain proceeds the change that you are making. I also knew that if I was going to be in pain daily anyway, that what harm could it hurt trying out a new plan? Hint: it worked.
- Try to keep up a routine. It is at this point we get so very tried. I know. Maybe we feel the need to purge (yes!! That’s moving stagnant energy too and is good!), maybe we feel sadness come out of the blue for no apparent reason (hint: what are you eating as it’s seriously connected to how you are taking care of your body?), maybe our immune system even seems out of whack (again, are we leaving our self-care to the whim of “if I had time?” because that ship has long since sailed and you know you have time…we all have time for what we make time for). I get it. I do. But if you are a reader of many years, read some of the past archives and see the similarities perhaps in my story and yours. Maybe you already have.
- Connect with other like-minded people. Here is the hard one. Sometimes we feel as if there is no one we can connect with. The stories we tell ourselves are so ingrained. No one understand me. I am alone. I’m too old to change or to make new friends at this point. These are just stories that your mind is trying on you to see if you will push through, past this uncomfortable feeling, and grow. Growth is right there outside of the comfort zone and I am here to help you. If any of this resonated with you, come find some like-minded people, who told themselves all of this and more at one time, and have found a place where they are not just merely surviving. It is freeing being able to push on through. You were meant to see this today. I know you were. >>> Head|Heart|Health Club <<< The club with soul.