Twin Flames…it’s Not what you think.

I have been pondering the meaning of finding your Twin Flame for a while now and I wanted to bring some understanding to this concept.

A Twin Flame is entirely different from a soul mate, and people often get this confused.  Soul mates complete us…like we were meant for that person and that person alone.  They complement us and are often our opposite.  The crazy thing about Twin Flames though…is that you have to understand they are your mirror.  There is a deep spiritual love and often hate with a Twin Flame as the relationship starts out.  While they can be romantic in nature, often you find this in platonic relationships as well.

The weird thing about this idea is that it is based off the concept that one soul is split into two bodies, but some believe that is not the case.  It is more that we are whole on our own, but unprocessed trauma is reflected back at you.  It is both challenging and healing.  The mirroring nature of the Twin Flame is that they show you sides of yourself you have yet to face (I’d like to reference Darth Vader here to Luke perhaps).  The weird thing about this relationship is that you often feel so called to each other, that no matter the time or the distance, you feel you need to check on that person constantly.  Or at least enough to make sure they are still doing okay because it soothes you.  Not checking in feels foreign.

Twin Flame recognition has a purpose for your life.  It pushes you to evolve whether you are ready for it or not.  There are some signs that you might have found your Twin Flame, but know this.  It usually ends as abruptly as it begin.

Signs you have found your twin flame:

  1. There is a very Namaste type recognition.  For me it means that part of my soul recognizes another soul.  The light in me recognizes the light in you.  It feels like we’ve known each other a while, but we just met.  This has happened only once for me and that is the likelihood of finding this person.  You shouldn’t think everyone you meet is your Twin Flame.  You’ll know and it will be something you won’t forget.
  2. You evolve together in a way.  Let’s say you believe in this and the other person doesn’t.  It doesn’t make it any less true.  A Twin Flame relationship may cause you to feel unbearable pain when you least expect it.  The feeling of tears pricking your eyes for no reason.  Empathy is felt and shared by both souls in this relationship and once you learn this, you will stop hiding your pain from the other and be able to navigate what is going on so that the other can fee released from the pain and know how to help.  If you can come to terms with this, you can come together for the betterment of not only yourselves, but those who are near you.  If not, you will stay stuck in your pain, fear, and beliefs that are holding you back because you are afraid to admit them.  If there ever was a time to be honest, it’s with your Twin Flame.
  3. You are very similar in your moods.  There can be moods and traits that seem very familiar because you are each other’s mirror.  It can even be the older Twin Flame has tried to push past these moods and tried to shape them into something better, and therefore can help act as a guide for a period of time.  This can only happen if the recognition is there that there are coincidences in your past stories.
  4. Unfortunately, your insecurities may be doubled now.  This part is hard because now there are two of you thinking about the same doubts.  You bring up insecurities in the other person and dwell on the same doubts they might have had.  It isn’t on purpose, but sometimes you say what they have long tried to stop thinking about…or have hidden in themselves.  This can cause a friction in the relationship as you try to figure out why this is coming up so much.  Again, it takes time to step back and admit these insecurities instead of hiding them.
  5. The pull is very strong.  Physically and mentally, you feel drawn to this person even though you have tried to steer your thoughts elsewhere.  It seems magnetic and doesn’t make sense.  Especially if you don’t understand the point of the connection and what it was meant to show you.  It seems like their energy is always with you, clinging to you, even if you have tried to cut cords.
  6. It can be intense and dramatic.  You are being shown things you really wanted to push down…the darker parts of yourself you tried to ignore.  Thoughts you really didn’t want to confront.  It can be incredibly challenging, but you can’t stop talking or wanting to be near that person even though this is the case.  There is an emotional charge.
  7. The connection feels otherworldly or divine at times.  What are the chances you were supposed to meet this person?  Why you?  Has it really helped you to be a better person?  All these things and more.  If you have actually met your Twin Flame, it was time to change and recognize who you were meant to be.

It is said that there is a lot of push-pull in Twin Flames.  One person will always walk away as it will be too much for them to handle.  Believe it or not, the chase can go on for years as this push to get away and not recognize that part of yourself is felt very strongly.  If there is a part of you that feels you can’t live without this person, it’s possible you will eventually work things out.  It can be a friendship or a romantic love only at that point.  You have to recognize that having that person in your life create a sort of balance, but it absolutely can’t be obsession.  If you have fallen for that person deeply, they might always be part of your soul, but remember you are two separate people and you have to have other interests, other friends, and you have to understand that growth is needed.  You can’t spend all of your time together or the Twin Flame will consume you, and possibly burn you out from trying so hard.  It absolutely has to be mutual balance.

These are rare connections and you have to be conscious and work through your own trauma at the same time.  If you are strong enough to recognize your pain, and that you have to face it and conquer it, you can have the friendship, partnership or relationship with your Twin Soul.  If not, it likely ends in one pushing the other away for good.

Read more about relationships here:

**Journal for Empaths can be found here


2 thoughts on “Twin Flames…it’s Not what you think.

  1. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I just exited a friendship that was really good until it wasn’t. It was like we could read each other’s minds, and went on seamlessly for almost 10 yrs. I’m all for growth, however when one person decides the other is no longer of use for their goals something has to give. I did a lot for this friend but I was made to feel guilty that I had personal goals also. I literally gave up, at a huge financial loss, and walked away. It’s been painful, and I wonder just why I should feel guilty for her actions. Every point I brought up was deflected, I did try to communicate my feelings in a factual objective way but they just gave excuses, like “I have Covid fatigue”. Blah blah blah. It really bothers me that I did so much for this person and couldn’t get a reasonable explaination.

    1. Sometimes our hearts want to hold on when our heads know it was way past time. It hurts. That’s part of healing, but if we gave it our best shot, it is time to move on. Sometimes we may never know someone’s reasons and unfortunately, we just have to hope we can forgive them.

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