The Art of Having a Backbone…

Watching a show with my husband and at the beginning, it starts off with quotes.  I love quotes, you guys know this if you have been with me long enough here on the blog.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

One thing’s for sure, there’s never been anyone in my family who said “Aimee sure does keep quiet about things that are important to her.” 

Honestly though, there have been situations where I wish I had spoken up sooner and that’s what we are going to look at today.

What exactly is a backbone?  It is to have courage and be firm in your convictions.  I often think of having integrity.  Someone who isn’t going to back down from a challenge and cave in.

I am trying to help someone I love very much and it’s important to ask yourself these questions about whether or not you have a backbone:

  • Do you think people will see you in some other way if you stand up for yourself?
  • Do you avoid any and all conflict and risk, preferring to blend in?
  • Do your actions not match how you feel and the goals you set for yourself?
  • After getting criticized, do you have a hard time putting yourself back together and keep falling apart?
  • Is staying in this place making you happy?
  • What could change for you if you had more backbone in life?

The first thing I want to look at is your willingness to be open.  If you are doing the same thing day after day, stuck in a rut of your own making, and afraid of change, are you really willing to be open to change?  Not if you say the same thing over and over to yourself like tomorrow is the day I will be different, but tomorrow gets here and you say no to change again.

The next thing is risks that can help you grow.  If you are afraid of heights and someone wants you to bungee jump, that might not be the next best step.  A purposeful risk to take instead might be rock climbing indoors where you can climb as high as you’d like.  So a risk that you can take if you are afraid of getting outside of your comfort zone can be call or text a friend to help you get out.  Volunteer somewhere where you know the information like a history museum or science museum and speak to people more so you get used to making conversation.  You control it then, and it doesn’t control you.

The last thing is the self-confidence you will grow.  No one likes bullies at all.  I saw this horrible thing where a larger man was called #dancingman and trying to have a great time in a club and some mean people made fun of him.  Some ladies in the area got wind of it and were searching for him on Twitter and found him through a group effort.  1,000 ladies asked him out to dance and there’s a clip of him smiling the biggest smile and having a great time.  You are a beautiful soul.  You ARE at any size, shape or whatever and there are so many people who would love to meet you just like #dancingman.  He found his tribe through a horrible situation and sometimes it takes us getting back out out there again.  Up on your feet.  You know the old song…”I get knocked down, but I get up again” (actually called Tubthumping).

Crappy stuff happens to the best of people, and trust me, I have had my fair share of bullying myself.  One particular person went to school with me my entire life and said the NASTIEST stuff you can think of, but there were no cell phone recordings back then.

One came to my house one night to confront me and be ridiculous…that one actually I believe is sorry about it and we are now friendly because I am a grown up.  The other one, never changed.  Not at all.  Sometimes you have to be the one to have the backbone and realize that some people will never like you no matter what you do my friends, so you might as well stand up for yourself and live your life.

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” ~Oscar Wilde

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