Spondylo-what???
Today I visited my new doctor with the extremely unhappy receptionist. Yes, she would be the one in the previous post. I’ll get back to her later. When you are in pain, it shows in everything you do. I know it and I try to consciously change how I feel and act around others, but I realize my close friends know I have not been myself for months. I apologize for my short temper and bluntness of late. I would not have delivered things I have said in quite the same way; however, I have completely run out of patience. Not just with you guys, with everyone. I have become quite the little hermit when I get off work and all I think of is a heating pad, pajamas, and hot tea. Wiener dogs on my lap are optional accessories that I like to use.
As I go through the halls to see the new doc, I take note of the fact that he has pictures of himself with his sons in Boy Scout uniforms, so I think he must be a good guy. Don’t ask me why, but you can get a feel for a doctor’s manner by looking at their art work. I sit for a bit and then I hear the scratchy sound of the chart slowly being pulled out of its holder outside the door. I hear the pages being flipped and I wonder if he read any of the “book” they made me fill out and drop off before I was ever even allowed to make an appointment. He enters and says “Wow, you’re the one with hemochromatosis and PCT??? I have never seen anyone with that, only read about it.” Inside my head the circus music begins to go off. “Step right up ladies and gentleman, we have a treat for you today.” No really, it’s okay. I understand I am somewhat of a genetic puzzle. Puzzle was not the first word I was going to use, but it will do. It is probably a doctor’s dream, or Dr. House anyway, to have someone like me come in and be able to converse about my condition using all the appropriate medical terms.
As I discuss my various conditions, his eyes light up like I have given him a new Boy Scout badge. This one in HH/PCT and he can add it to his framed collection in the hall. He does his various tests in my range of motion, and asks all sorts of intelligent questions. He then goes into what I like to call the “doctor stupor”. They use big Latin words and describe all kinds of things with rapid fire abilities that are meant to make you nod your head and ponder if you are dying. What in the world does that mean? Humm, sounds interesting. I’ll ask him to repeat it. What was that word you just said again? He jokingly says he isn’t telling me again as I’ll look it up. How does he know this? He just met me. Okay, so I will. I admit it to him. It sounds like Sero Negative Spondyloarthopathies. I get such fun sounding words to tell everyone about. Say it three times. I dare you. It almost sounds like something Harry would say while waving his magic wand (Hermione would nod approvingly if it was said correctly).
At last my adventure is almost over, just 6 to 7 vials of blood and some x-rays. Oh yeah, and I have to check out. Sigh. The worst part is checking out. I ask for another appointment from HER. She tries to make it exactly in the middle of my work day, again. I tell her I can’t keep taking off work for these things or I will have no time left and that I explained that when I made the appointment and she told me this first one was the only one I had to have early in the day. It’s a good thing looks can’t kill. She spits out “I never said such a thing and if you are repeating it you only are saying what you thought you heard.” Deep breaths…shaking. “You did, in fact say that last time. I need your latest appointment as I told you before.” I wish I had thought to turn on my recorder at that moment no matter how obvious that would have been. “Well, I guess I’ll make a note and re-arrange the doctor’s schedule to fit you in.” She spits this out as if she acid breath…I would have taken 20 damage at least. Luckily, I ask her if she is always like this. She ignores me and continues on with her tirade of nastiness to herself now. I go to their little lab, and the lab tech heard everything. I loudly say “Is she always like this?” The lab tech smiles and nods. She asks me if it my first time here. She and I have a great chat and I mention I would like the name of the office manager. Some random person walks by and says that Evilyn, okay so I made name up, is like the office manager. Really. We’ll see about that. After I’m fixed of course.
“The world is a dangerous place. Not because of the people who are evil; but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” ~Albert Einstein
Spread awesomeness:
LOL I also have HH and I have a receptionist at my hemo’s office that doesn’t no anything…..she say’s “Karen would you like to pay on your bill today?” I ask, what bill I haven’t recieved anything in the mail.So I ask her what the bill is for, she says I don’t know? I said then I guess I won’t be paying the bill..So Monday I had to drop off my car to get repaired so my girlfriend took me to my phelbotomy. We went and had lunch, had some time to shop a bit before my appt, So we went to the shoe store…we found the coolest shoes and we both bought them! Pulled into the drive of the docs office and I told my gf She’s going to ask me for money again and my girlfriend replied, tell her “no, not today, I bought shoes.” I laughed so hard and thought, why don’t I make her go with me all the time? Laughter sure does help walking in that door knowing they are going to stick a 20 gauge needle into you arm and poke around until they find the “right spot” in your vein to give them the 500ml they take to throw in the hazardous waste container…Ah the life of a HH’er!
Thanks for your comment…I agree with laughter helping…it does help. Shopping really helps me as well:)
Certain kinds of shopping are particularly awesome. Sometimes you just have to look at people who are sucky human beings with pity and just say “screw it”. That heifer will never understand the depth and breadth of her vile nature, so you give her as good as she gets and then just remember to breathe. You have a loving hubby, awesome kids, a good job, and kick ass friends (subtle, aren’t I?). Just try to take a breath, remember that cutting people is a felony, and shoot her a big ol bird as you walk out the door. At the end of the day you can’t let the bastards get you down. You just have to shake it off and perservere. Now we at least have some sort of answer. Maybe the pain will ease and as an added bonus we can think up funny little nicknames for your new friend as well as super terrific things to say to her when you have to go there. See, silver linings all over the place. You have not been a grouch lately, by the way. We are all on this crazy ride together and I will make sure you are okay if you make sure I am. Hugs as always.
Best. Comment. Ever.