Self-reflection and the task of being uncomfortable in order to grow.

It is not my job to sway you to my opinion, status or even for me to justify my posts on the book on face.

 “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”  Bruce Lee

I found this tonight as I was thinking about how many people jumped on the bandwagon of hating on the Super Bowl half-time show for (insert your reason).  And how many people loved it for (insert your reason).  This is not a post about that at all, but it started with those musings.

What are some benefits of being self-reflective?

Benefits of self-awareness include: enriched emotional intelligence and greater empathy and listening skills; improved critical-thinking skills and decision making; strengthened communications and relationships; and enhanced leadership capabilities and capacity (from this article).

I thought about how if people used self-reflection more often that they might just move on with their lives if they saw something they didn’t agree with or they might actually wonder if there’s something that they can learn from someone else?  Maybe there are parts of themselves that are bothering them, and maybe someone’s behavior has irritated that.  Just some musings.

How do we even start the process of self-reflection?

  • Stop and take a step back from life or a certain situation.
  • Look and get perspective on what you observe.
  • Listen to your intuition…it knows before you do often if you give it a moment to talk to you.
  • Act and identify the steps you need to take to move forward from where you are by adjusting, changing the path, or even improving it.

Why are we doing this process to begin with?

  1. To understand.  Why did we do that stupid thing in the first place?  We can’t process when we are in a state of berating ourselves.  Get your thoughts in a journal and start to look at why you are feeling a certain way.  What emotions have been brought up lately?  What fears?  What themes keep showing up because you haven’t really healed?
  2. To peel it back.  Our problems appear huge…because we think about the same thoughts over and over without taking any action.  Pause, reflect, and stop and listen.  That inner voice might have been screaming the right course the whole time but you didn’t listen.  That gut feeling is really there as a guide.  I promise you already know more than you think.
  3. It might not be true.  Self-reflection helps us to understand what no one else might even be thinking about tomorrow that you really are obsessing over today.  Like that thing that really embarrassed you…they won’t even remember in a few days.  Some stories are just the ego and the ego thinks everything about itself is very important.  Newsflash.  That other person also has an ego saying things like “Why did I say that?” and then replaying their own stuff.  Anyway, the point here is that we shouldn’t always believe everything we think.
  4. You’re doing better than you thought.  If you have come to this point, and you have almost had a mini-breakdown, you might be in the growth period and man, it is uncomfortable.  Yes.  You need to lose weight and you faced it finally.  You didn’t want to, but you did and now you are moving forward.  Yes.  You need to go to counseling.  You have faced that fact and are looking up counselors and have put that in your diary to do.  Yes. It is time to move on from your job as it is not working.  You have looked up new jobs and are getting your resume together.  You see the point here with these, and any one of them can take you a while to go through, but you have done it.  In a few months time, you won’t even recognize what was worrying you so much before because you made the plan.

Self-reflection is a vital skill and one that I teach my club members.  If you are finding it hard to do this for yourself, please check out my journaling Club here.

For more on moving forward, check out these posts:


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