Are you ever scrolling mindlessly (really it has become a habit) on your social media platform of choice and you see this post from someone and your heart kind of sinks?  Maybe your stomach lurches?  But whatever it is, you feel weighed down.

I am not sure why, but it seems like if we have known people for a while, or we think we need to keep them on our lists, in our lives, or even in our businesses, the very act of allowing them to stay is actually weighing us down.  Anchoring us in place so to speak.

Recognizing an anchor in your life is easy…we just ignore the signs.

A lot of women have been brought up to be a caretaker type of person.  To be helpful and put other people’s needs first, even before their own.  The thing is, this backfires when someone is constantly “taking” from your time, energy, kindness and family.  And it’s sad when you are not aware of what it is doing to your energy…but when you start to notice their name, and feel weighed down, or maybe even thoughts of “Oh no.  Not again.  What is wrong now?”  It really weighs you down.

Sometimes these people are very aggressive in their demands for attention, and they don’t seem to remember times you were kind to them.  Times you stayed up late to answer their messages, or went out of your way to create something special for them like a meal or a night out, and they just forget all of that.  And demand more.  You start to sink lower and lower.

What is happening here?

The energy of the other person is actually weighing you down.  You are becoming anchored to their energy.  Your vibration is actually lowering to meet theirs.  That’s why you feel that heart sinking jolt.  It was not meant to be and it’s time for you to recognize who is around you that does this to you.

Your next steps.

Make a list of the people who are anchors in your life.  I am not talking about people who sometimes do this…I am talking about people who continually, and constantly post things about how difficult their lives are.  How much they have to overcome, and every time you see a status that looks similar to the one before, or shows up in your feed even after trying to help them or do things to ease whatever this is, your heart sinks.  Because no matter what others have done for them, or how hard you have tried to help them, they do not seem to be grateful, thankful or appreciative and their status hasn’t changed in a year.

They are anchored to that pain.  They are anchored to that emotional state of being de-stressed.  They are anchored to negativity, chaos and neediness and they are not going to change until they are ready. Sometimes they really make their problems much bigger than they are, and they try to make you also focus on the negative.  Again, it will weigh you down if you let it.  No amount of help you provide will change their status.  It is not up to you.  It is up to them and clearly being anchored to their baggage is more preferable.

You are able to hoist the anchor.

Your energy is precious.  You only have a finite amount each day to devote to different areas of your life.  Sometimes the signs are glaring and other times, maybe not so much.  If you leave a person’s presence, even through a message, and you feel spent, weak, or that you have to rest, that is a sign.  Other signs can be dizziness, or IBS symptoms because they are literally making you sick.  The “poor me” types are siphoning off a very precious commodity.  Your time and energy.

  1. Create distance to start the lift.
  2. Ignore the “woe is me” status and don’t engage.
  3. Let the messages sit for a bit.  Do not always answer on time…give boundaries.
  4. If things do not improve, hide, delete or restrict this person from your energy/time/feed.
  5. Do a cleansing ritual after they are removed.  Take a salt bath, get a massage, go to yoga or do it online.  But ground yourself into the feeling that self-care is necessary.

Need more like this?

 

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