I came up with a million catchy titles for this post, but the truth is, I am reminded of one of my favorite movies today. Labyrinth. Yes, yes. That movie. As Sarah battles the wits of Jareth, the Goblin King, she exclaims “That’s not fair!” so much that he counters with “You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is?” Huh. Profoundly true.
What is our basis for comparison? Let’s ponder that a moment. Social media? Where we only see the photos others want us to see, who have edited out the sticky parts, the not so nice details, and put “filters” on how their life looks? Damn. My profile looks amazing right now if I do say so myself. So does my Instagram. There I am in my yoga pants, doing some hard poses and I have nailed those suckers. Mostly.
Society is busy judging me by how I look and what I can do for others. True story right there. It doesn’t matter that I say to every single yoga student in my class, the only competition is with yourself. They still want to kill that pose and look good while doing it. For me, I personally feel like my battle is different, but they don’t know what’s going on in my thoughts. They know what they are observing. They are observing me doing well in the flow. They don’t know that I am thinking “Thank you so much wrist, for holding today. I remember a time when you went out on me every single time I held downdog for longer than a minute.”
So in my head, I used to get angry…have a million conversations about fake profiles, and what would happen if people knew the truth, etc. Why are certain people admired, followed, liked even, when in reality, I am not even sure what they have ever done to get fame (just thinking out loud, like, ermm, rhymes with Smashian family). I still am at a loss on that one.
So life isn’t exactly fair. We have learned this time and time again. What do we do next?
3 Steps to Take When Life Isn’t Fair:
- Acknowledge the feelings…perhaps even the envy. So, you have been working hard all year, and your friend, just got the promotion at work. She is being taken out to dinner with the boss. She is going on a shopping spree to buy a whole new wardrobe because the promotion was huge. What is it that drives you crazy about this scenario? Everything probably, but it’s the feeling that no one noticed your hard work that probably gets to you most of all. Explore what you are doing everyday and really think about ways you can improve. I know it’s not ideal, but meet with your boss for a strategy meeting and be proactive. See if there’s something you are missing.
- Unplug, or unfollow, the “perfect” people. Comparison is a bitch. It will drive you crazy if you let it. So quite simply, don’t. Yes it’s easier said than done, but do your best to put your phone down. Stop stalking your ex, your ex friend, your ex boss, your ex place of work, or whatever it is that drives you crazy. Why do we do that? We feel the need to please others, and quite simply, we wonder if we are not enough. >>> I am too big a gift to the world to waste my time on self-pity and sadness. You have gifts that others wished they had too. The reality is, you don’t see it right now because you are focusing on what you don’t have, instead of what you do have.
- Develop new habits that focus on what you want in your life. Personally, I am focusing on using gratitude to move forward. I know that life isn’t always going to be a bowl of cherries. I am extremely selfish when it comes to my friends, and I think NONE of them should have cancer. In fact, since I hate cancer, I think it should be eradicated. Do I have the cure for it? Sadly, no. Crying hasn’t cured it. When there is a situation out of my control, first, I pray. Next, I make some sort of plan. What can I do to make this hurt less? How can I be of service? Those are actually my thoughts. So if you are interested, I do have the Gratitude Group Tab up top. You are welcome to read more.
I know from years of research into my own illnesses that life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. But even if you drop the ball, pick it back up again and get moving. The only time you have is this moment.