How Do You Know if You’re an Extroverted Introvert? (Here are 5 Signs)

I had to people this weekend.  It’s not that I don’t like peopleing, it’s just that I literally have to talk myself into going places…which doesn’t make sense.  Everyone who knows me would call me an extrovert…with one exception.  I actually like hermiting, nesting and not speaking to people, but most people are surprised by that.

I don’t like shallow conversations.  I go BIG or I go home.  Literally.  I dive in to the things people don’t want to talk about.  The awkward stepping around the elephant in the room is just not done by me.  I know that can put people off, but those, again, are NOT going to be my people.  Yes.  I talk about stuff that surprises people.  So my circle is small.  One of my small circle friends had a gathering…more people than I wanted to be around, but I showed up, danced my booty off to 80’s and 90’s hip-hop songs and talked to everyone in the entire room.  And remembered their names.

But now, I could not see people for a week or more and be fine.  But alas, that is not the case.  I still have work to do and people to people with.  So what are the signs that this might be you as well?

5 Signs You’re an Extroverted Introvert:

  1. You’re selective with your invites.  You just don’t have the energy to maintain a large social network, and doing weekly things might just be over the top for you.  One of the things is, you know who you click with and who you don’t, and you don’t care about keeping up with the Jones family (and BTW, sorry Jones’ as I don’t know why we pick on you). You like who you like without care.
  2. It takes less energy to let people know the truth.  While it’s easy for me to talk to anyone, and I do mean anyone, about everything, I want it to be important.  Not fake…not forced.  If you are real with me, I like it better.  If you tell me something about the weather or what have you, it’s not really the type of conversation I like.  Tell me what keeps you up at night, and I will think of ways to assist you even if we have just met.  Most of my friends are like this, and that’s why I am selective with the new people who can’t dive deep or just won’t, but if we chat and you and I instantly hit it off over some crazy conversation that feels like we’ve known each other years, you’re my people.
  3. The energy level you bring to the room is balancing…and you feel like you have to balance things.  What kind of vibe are you picking up?  Is the room a cold room and you feel you have to get it to a good level?  Music, how many people are there and what kind of people?  What kind of environment is this shin-dig going to be?  I prefer fire pit nights to be honest.  Simple things and nights out with 1 or 2 other couples.  If it is draining, it is not going to be your thing because you feel you have to level it out for some reason.  It’s not your job, but it “feels” that you do have to keep things rolling.
  4. People say you are friendly and approachable.  You don’t always feel friendly.  You don’t always want to be “on”, but people pick up on your willingness to be open and you are always the first to walk over to a new person and say hi or ask your host to introduce you.  You naturally want to include everyone.
  5. You have to re-charge after spending time out.  You have successfully peopled.  Sooo maybe you stuck your foot in your mouth because you told the truth when someone asked you how you really feel, but anyway, it’s over now and it’s time to re-charge.  Nest.  Hermit.  Drink tea, and have that Epsom Salt bath to heal your energy.  Just don’t overdo it with the invites…especially around the holidays.

One thing that might help you is to take a personality test and see if it sounds like you are a certain type.  I often like to look at this test.  >> 16 Personalities << Just for fun.

If you are highly sensitive to energy, you might want to read these as well:

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