Help yourself…

I was going to call this Motivational Monday…but I want you to know exactly what I am writing about.  I don’t want to mislead you as I might sound a bit harsh for a minute.  You need this.  I need this.  We need this.  So ahem, put on your big girl or boy pants for a minute and take a seat.

Sometimes people ask me for advice…and likewise, I ask others for advice occasionally.  The problem is, we aren’t really asking them for help.  We are merely wanting to let them know how crappy our lives are at the moment.  How horrible X, Y, and that Z is.  We let whatever their situation is get into our heads sometimes.  We should definitely NOT do that, but as good friends, maybe even best friends, we do.  It sinks into our souls like an anchor and there it lies.  It has extra weight that we carry around for who knows how long.  It might even take up space in our very valuable brain…space we scarce have left for our own issues let alone others.

So this is what I propose we all do before we ask for advice.  We think long and hard about our situation and if the situation can be improved and/or fixed by actually doing something instead of talking about it.  If the answer is yes, then write out a plan.  If you don’t think you can fix it yourself, and you really do require advice or help, then by all means, ask away.  But be prepared to actually use the advice others dispense.  Now before anyone reads into this, this is always purely written for me.  I am giving myself advice today.  Right now.

My good friend Dr. Marion gave me three questions to ponder over when I get asked for health advice from others.  The first is “What do you expect from me?”…maybe to clear up goals the other person wants for themselves.  The next is “What is your ideal lifestyle?”  She used this one on me a while back when working on my mobility at her office.  I thought about that for a while.  It sounds easy, but I really want you to think about it as it relates to your health.  Lastly was “How do you expect to get there?”  Of course I said magic wand…then I added that’s where she comes in.  She gets my humor.  But it’s hard working with her sometimes so I avoid it occasionally as that’s what we all do if we don’t like pain.  Likewise, we avoid listening to or taking the advice of others because it might cause us pain or difficulty.  We want the easy way out.  We do.

The difference is I know this and I still have a block.  I told her that today.  The hard things are just HARD to do.  I’m so damn tired of hard.  I don’t see myself as some of my friends do because I know what’s in my head.  I know how close I have come to not trying anymore.  Not giving up…just not trying.  But my friend told me I was so motivated it’s scary today.  And Marion told me to just stop “leading” and let her help me.  Because that’s what I do.  I look for answers, I don’t stop and rest too long or I’ll stay there, and I keep leading.  I will succeed in my goal of coming back into my body at full capacity.  I will not let these labels, these ridiculous, stupid labels, stop me from living.  If you are tired of living with a label and you are asking for advice, please do yourself a favor and HELP YOURSELF.  You are the lead in your life.  You are.  But when you ask for advice, if you truly need help, then take it.  And that my friends is my lesson for today.

Help yourself

Author’s note:  This was written when I was still in immense pain, 2014.  I clawed my way out of that place, and went to yoga.  Became a certified yoga teacher after 200 hours of Vinyasa training and then was certified in sport nutrition.  I took that knowledge of pain, autoimmune and the body and developed a healthy program for you to start.  It is called 4 Weeks to Wellness because it truly gives you everything you need to continue a healthy lifestyle in just 4 Weeks!


4 thoughts on “Help yourself…

  1. I agree…often people ask for advice, but don’t really want it. They just want to vent. And I am a problem solver by nature, so I tend to piss them off by trying to figure out what to do about it. hahaha!! I usually tell people my problem if I really want them to offer advice. Again…because I am a problem solver, and if I can’t think of good enough solutions, I want to be offered some suggestions. So when others just say — ohh I am so sorry etc (maybe because they think I want to just vent), I get like, “what?? That’s all you have to say?”. hahahaha! And I ask myself and my coaching clients the ideal lifestyle question often. Also of an ideal day. And I like to re-do this answer after sometime, because it tends to change. Love this blog post!

    1. Thank you! Yes, I know. I expect thought out advice sometimes too…and it really does change. Right now, I just want my health to be my focus. To make it work and be able to do things I used to do. <3

  2. Awesome advice and something we all need to remember, especially when life begins to get too much which it tends to do from time to time. I do think the writing down and making a plan is a great idea as it actually puts you in control and makes you think about what it is you really want out of life. This act alone can pull you out of the wallowing feeling. I’m sure there’ll be many who will appreciate this post.

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