The Burned Hand

Finding help…

Winston Churchill once said “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”  I know that on the outside, a person can look perfectly normal.  Together even.  But on the inside, oh that inside.  It can be a mess of pain.  What do you do if that describes you?  I think you have to do a number of things so I’m going to tell you a few that work for me.

  1. Stop visiting the past.  It’s gone.  It really is.  I know it might haunt you either for good or for ill, but tell it goodbye.
  2. Have a good cry and be done with it.  If you have been holding back for a long time telling yourself things will get better, but they haven’t, just let it go.  When you are done, that hurt is gone for however long you’ve been holding onto it, and you be present.
  3. Focus on getting by one day at a time.  One hour at a time.  30 minutes at a time if you have to.  Do not promise anyone anything.  If they do not understand then why are they in your life?  Goodbye.
  4. Don’t commit to things you are not able to do.  Likewise, should you think you can do something, make sure it’s with supportive people.  Not a succubus of energy.  It’s time to cut those people lose.  Even if you are related.  If they hurt you, drain you, and say horrible things, and don’t realize you need all the energy you have right now, how are they helping?  They aren’t.
  5. Go to counseling.  That’s right.  Seeing a therapist does not mean you are weak.  In fact, it means the opposite.  It means you were strong enough to know you need help.  If you are in a particularly fragile state due to health conditions or just life curveballs, talk to someone.
  6. Seek alternative health professionals.  17 years is a long time for doctors to miss clues.  17 years of pain, frustration and diagnosis after diagnosis can wear a person down.  Do not assume that you are “well” if something doesn’t feel right.  If things are still not adding up.  17 years of missing a single clue…one I kept insisting was there.  Ask around for naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncture, massage therapists, meditation or yoga clinics.  Do not give up.  If you are interested in guided online wellness coaching, you can read more here.

Over the years, I’ve had some supportive people.  Likewise, I have dealt with my fair share of people who honestly would not last a year living the way I do, but give me grief.  Why are you on sabbatical?  Why can’t you commit to this thing 3 months in advance?  Why don’t you try another doctor?  My favorite, “It must be nice not to work.”  I am broken, bruised and tired.  I have been to the bottom and felt like I was drowning.  I have gone through all of the emotions.  I am resurfacing.  I am coming back.  I am healing.  I am 39 years old and have 5 diseases.  I can do this.

Hell

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6 thoughts on “Finding help…

  1. You are very strong and keep following your path! Thanks for this post – it is what I feel but never can bring it to paper so nicely like you. I have also been through not so easy times and I more or less did all the things you have listed in your post. And it works!
    Barbora

  2. So nicely and perfectly well put. You don’t know how much I needed to read (and re-read) #4. I’m going to sleep on that one right now. Thanks for all your wonderful and thoughtful writings. I enjoy you so much. 🙂

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