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Shlepping along…

10 years ago, you had a plan.  Maybe it was more like 15 years ago, but you’ve lost count now.  As each year progressed, you said this is the year I do that thing.  I don’t know what that thing is that you want to do mind you, but I know you had a plan for it.  You saved for it.  And then life happened…so you started saving again.  You were so busy paying for life that one year rolled into, and so on and so forth until you realized you had put it off for 10 or even 15 years.  This is the year I stop putting it off and start doing it.  Why?  Because I saw the most depressingly sad movie the other night and I realized that at any moment life is going to pass me by and that thing I want to do is still going to be my big dream.  One Day you too might wake up like Dexter and Emma and realize you still haven’t really accomplished what you set out to do.

So, now that we are all depressed, let’s fix this thing.  Ireland.  That is my “thing”.  I have wanted to go there for 15 years now.  I have the passport paperwork all filled out and haven’t made time to go get them yet.  Why?  Well, I had two beautiful girls 18 months apart, and then life got crazy and the last time I looked I realized the anniversary my husband and I were going to go had ummm passed.  Now I have twin puppies and vet bills and more life; however, there will NEVER be a perfect time.  Ever.  If I am going to say what needs to be said in life then I want to start living the way I want to live.  Do I have the money saved for this trip?  Nope.  One step at a time.  Passport is first.

If this sounds like you, whatever it is that you have postponed, hesitated, deferred, suspended, or just plain given up on, please dust it back off and start back on your plan to achieve it.  Write it in the middle of a piece of paper and hang it on your bathroom mirror.  Pinterest it, whatever.  Just don’t forget it is there.  If all else fails, sigh, there is an App for that.  Seriously.  The first one is the best looking to me because I can share my goal with over 3 million people, follow on Twitter, and log-in with Facebook.  Easy.  Here is the link by itself.  I even like the motto “Changing your life is hard.  Doing it by yourself is harder.”  Say it with me now.  Come on.  We can do this “thing”.  On that note, I need to create a new Pinterest board, so find me there if you want.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” ~Zig Ziglar

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2012 in Life, Miscellaneous, Random Topics

 

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Lovely Blogger(s) Award…sort of

I have been writing this blog for a while now, and it wasn’t until recently that I started getting a few link backs from bloggers saying they nominated little ole’ me for an award.  While I appreciate it, I started thinking about it.  I don’t want to do exactly what it says I must do because each of my blog posts are unique. I would like to thank The J85, for the “shout out”, but I am going to change it up a bit.  Here were the “rules”:

  • Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
  • Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
  • Nominate seven or so bloggers you admire.
    Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.
  • OPT out of 2 and 3 and instead ASK your readers to comment on a blog they like to read and why I should check it out based on things I like.  Oh wait, that’s my new “rule”.  Hope you don’t mind.

So the last time I nominated some folks for an award, I started thinking about how a few (okay, I live with one) bloggers seemed to think it was a hassle to accept.  I just ran across this post as well.  So what I would like to see from like-minded bloggers is that if you get the award and you feel you just can’t accept it right then, thank the nominee and ask for your readers to give you some ideas on blogs you should check out.  For example, here is what I am looking for in a nut-shell.

  1. Blogs on gluten-free meals that are easy to make (emphasis on easy, not a chef)
  2. Blogs on living a better life (quotes, yoga)
  3. Blogs on any and all things science fiction related (geek, fantasy, etc.)
  4. Blogs on what to do with my children over the summer (crafts, ideas, etc.)
  5. Blogs on how to make my puppies stop barking (dachshunds are awesome)
  6. Blogs on good books to read (see number 3 for genre)
  7. Blogs that make me laugh (you are not alone after all)

So your task is ready.  Hopefully you don’t mind that I changed the “rules”…I am a rebel that way.

“Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.” ~Cathy Guisewite

 
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Posted by on May 28, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Kicking it old school style…

In the words of the Fresh Prince “If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it”.  Yes, there’s nothing quite like seeing Will Smith in his “Go Speed Racer Go” T-shirt. 

This piggy backs on my previous post in a way because there are a few like-minded people out there who reminisce about the way things used to be.  When I was a child, we lived on a cul-de-sac that was amazing.  I had friends to play with all over my neighborhood and my parents formed a “garden club” with the other neighbors so they could chat while we played.  We played hide-and-seek, flash light tag, and basically ran wild through the streets.  It was a safe place to play and all the neighbors knew who we were.  Last night my children got to do the same thing at our neighbors house…at the end of our cul-de-sac.  Aha!  The cul-de-sac crew is back.  They were catching lightning bugs, running around playing games and oh yeah, playing on the zip line.  The adults jokingly talked about installing zip lines across all the backyards.  I would so love that.  Yes, I have played on the zip line.

Neighborhood cook-outs are not a thing of the past, and I really do enjoy sitting in the yard watching the kids play (covered in bug spray), chatting about events in our lives.  Thanks neighbor for bringing back “summer madness”.

“I miss the days when summer vacation was about relaxing and hanging out with friends. Now it’s all about working and squeezing your friends in when you can.” ~Unknown

 
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Posted by on May 27, 2012 in Children, Life

 

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You don’t have what they call “the social skills”…

It is time for me to go off on a rant.  Occasionally this happens and with my mood lately, well, you just don’t know what you’re going to get.  If you recognize yourself in this post, it is only because you too are guilty of doing these things.

The year is 1989 and I am talking on the phone to my best-friend…for hours.  We talk about events from the day, movies, clothes, and probably boys.  We are freshmen in high school.  Most of our conversations took place face-to-face or on the phone.  Yes, that was all we had.  I miss those days.  Now, back to current times.  Sigh.  How do I even begin this?  Well, let’s start off by saying I miss phone calls.  Over the last few years, I have been getting progressively less of the “real” calls and only telemarketers call now.  I don’t know why we have a house phone anymore…Alexander Graham Bell would be sorry to hear this.

I get e-vites, e-mails, event notifications, texts and the occasional messenger notification on FB.  Rarely do I have a friend say something to me personally anymore and I am getting a bit tired of it.  I am not talking about people who live out-of-town, I understand why we communicate through the computer.  It works great and there are no long-distance charges. However, if you are planning a huge event and don’t hear from me because you e-vited me and you are mad, get over it.  I almost feel like you didn’t really want me there in the first place.  Maybe you were click happy and didn’t want to leave anyone out.  There is nothing worse than being invited to something with 30 other people and having your phone blow up every time they have something to say in a message.  I work during the day and when my phone buzzes every 30 seconds, not only does it drain my battery, it interrupts my day.

I am a social pariah I guess.  I have taught my daughters telephone manners just like I was taught.  I won’t let them have a “smart” phone or any cell phone for that matter right now.  Yes, my oldest will be going into middle school next year.  Besides that, I don’t think those phones are that smart.  They are a convenience that has gotten out of hand.  They have made smart people do stupid things.  Woooo-hoo, look at my junk.  Snap. Post.  Next day, ummm, why is there a photo of my junk on here?  You know what I mean.  Instant status update while you are driving…into that tree over there.  Publishing your personal business at the time it is happening…be right back, I gotta pee.  Thanks for sharing.  Snapping 100 photos of yourself…all in one day.  Maybe it was time elapsed and we didn’t notice.

Some people you know, don’t have what they call the “social skills”.  See what I mean?

Maybe you know a few people like this.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.

“”But I don’t want to go among mad people,” said Alice. “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the cat. “We’re all mad here.””  ~Lewis Carroll

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2012 in Miscellaneous, Life

 

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Old nonsense…

Okay, health groupies.  I know you’re out there so this one’s for you.  For any of my friends who suffer from one of the invisible diseases, I just want you to know that I feel your pain…literally.  I have been contemplating writing this post all night because I am in such a mood.  I had another doctor’s appointment today, and while I won’t go into details, I just want it to stop.  Tonight I have been contemplating how much I dislike all you “normal” people.  That’s right.  I said it.  I guess I never thought it would come to that.  I remember a post almost two years ago that a friend wrote.  She said she “hated” the normal people.  I thought everyone on her friend’s list was going to be upset, but instead they were so wonderful.  I had tears in my eyes.  They all told her it was okay to feel like that sometimes and that they understood.  She had every right to be angry and they knew she was tired of trying to fight.  I told her to keep her spirits up…until the day she passed away.

The truth is, we all go through times like this.  Whether it’s sickness, envy, pain, regret, or remorse there are times we all dislike someone no matter what the reason is.  A long time ago, a friend once told me it hurt her to see me so happy.  It took a lot of courage to say that.  I respected her for it and even though it sounds horrible, I understood what had been happening with her finally.  No one can tell you how you should think or feel in any given situation, so “Finish each day and be done with it.”  Emerson was spot-on…and if I have used this quote before it bears repeating.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
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Posted by on May 22, 2012 in Health, Random Topics

 

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Jive Talkin’…

Jive talkin’, you’re telling me lies, yeah

Jive talkin’, you wear a disguise

Jive talkin’, so misunderstood, yeah

Jive talkin’, you just ain’t no good

This isn’t the case with the Bee Gees; however, I really do love this song.  The truth is, what happened to the band members was more like this:

I’m sure many people feel this way who know the story of the brothers Gibb.  At age 30, the youngest brother, Andy, who was not part of the group, passed away from a heart infection.  In 2003, Maurice, the twin of Robin, died from a twisted bowel, and today, his brother Robin passed at age 62 losing his battle to cancer.  Barry remains at age 65.  I will close with a recent version of Robin singing I Started a Joke.

The whole world might not have started crying, but the fans of the Bee Gees surely did.  Rest in peace brother Gibb.

“I don’t take things for granted, because everything feels more fragile. It’s made me wonder about mortality and how long you’ve got somebody in the world. I’m more fearful than I used to be.”  ~Robin Gibb

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2012 in Life, Miscellaneous

 

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WWF Smackdown…

My house was quiet once.  It was a long time ago and I barely remember it anyway, so maybe it doesn’t count.  After I get home from a long day at work, which involves not sitting down, running around like a maniac, singing crazy songs (literally), and saying the same thing over and over again repeatedly, I must admit that I like quiet time.  Remember one of my previous posts where I couldn’t wait to get my new puppy and ummm that puppy became puppies?  Yeah.  I haven’t really been able to do much since then.  It is like this at my house:

Except the animals look like this when they are playing:

And then finally, FINALLY, they look like this:

And because they have such innocent smiles in their sleep, I guess they can do no wrong:)

So, my house is starting to look like I have just had babies again.  Laundry is everywhere, I am washing extra blankets, pee and poop is being cleaned up, toys are strewn about, and I can’t wait to sit down and snuggle with them when are tuckered out.  Whew.  I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”  ~Ben Williams

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2012 in Life, Pets

 

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Day dreaming…

More than a handful of adults close to my age find themselves wondering if they have reached the peak of their career.  Did I accomplish what I set out to do or did I make a mistake?  We question ourselves…why didn’t I get my master’s degree?  We dream of possibilities and choices we have yet to make.  In the end, the choice is ours.

I know many people who have gone back to school in their 30′s.  I envy them.  I think it takes a whole lot of courage to say to yourself that you are not where you thought you’d be.  I know two people who went back to school to become doctors.  One of them is in her 40′s.  It is never too late to make your dreams a reality.  The biggest hurdle we face is ourselves.  Overcoming our fear of rejection and failure.  I read once that life’s real failure is when you do not know how close to success you were when you gave up.  Along the same line of thinking, I also read that Greek armies would burn their boats in ancient times once they arrived on the enemy’s shore.  There was no turning back.  I am pretty good at burning bridges when I need to, but perhaps I should focus on burning my boat instead.  I would have no choice but to move forward.  Something to think about for tonight.

“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”
~T.E. Lawrence

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2012 in Life, Random Topics

 

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Metamorphosis…

Sitting here shaking my head at people who can’t see me and talking to the computer…not a good sign.  Of course, after what I went through, I guess I’ll excuse my behavior.  Let me back up a bit.  I realized earlier in the week that it was time for my maintenance phlebotomy and I had forgotten to schedule it.  I called my “emergency” hotline number.  This is a number that was given to me ONLY after 14 years of seeing the same nurse.  She knows I will not abuse it.  It connects me directly to her phone in one of the busiest Oncology/Hematology places ever.  Someone else answered yesterday, but luckily my fave nurse was there to save the day.  So I got scheduled immediately without a wait.

As I entered the treatment area today, several patients were already dozing in the arm chairs.  They are there for a much longer treatment than mine.  They have liquid hope in a bag attached to them, and I always say a silent prayer for them all when I arrive.  Some of you know that I was diagnosed with Hereditary Hemochromatosis and Porphyria Cutanea Tarda not long after I lost my grandmother to cancer.  Imagine picking a scab off the same wound all the time and thinking that next time it won’t hurt.  Yeah, it feels like that.

Today there was an elderly lady in the chair across from me wrapped up in a cocoon of the fluffiest blanket I had ever seen.  I could only just make out the top of her head and eyes.  My nurse came over and squeezed my arm so tight with the blood pressure cuff it left a mark, but I bruise easily anyway.  I couldn’t tell if the caterpillar lady was watching this, but I felt like she was.  After the biggest needle ever made was stuck in my arm, my pint of blood filled up in under 8 minutes.  I bled through the first bandage and the nurse had to come back.  After that, I asked for my usual ginger-ale and promised to sit still.  No IV needed.  Approximately one minute after that I felt sweat break out on my forehead.  Oh crap.  The nurse had retreated to her station and was chatting.  I felt sick in my stomach and knew what was about to happen.  I couldn’t get my feet up and my voice stopped working.  Hot.  Damn it, I am going to faint.  I cough loudly and the nurse asks if I am okay.  I rasp out no just in time for the other nurse to fly over and say “I can see it in her eyes.  Get your feet up!”  I am trying to lady.  The chair is not working.  Flip.  They are both there.  I manage to squeak out that I need that IV now.  I fervently wished I could cool off and avoid passing out.  The next thing I know she is pressing the blood pressure cuff back on me saying well, I guess I’ll have to change my report.  I said no adverse reactions.  I manage a “sorry” and we grin.  I really do love my nurse.

When I manage to get okay, she tells me the doc will be over after a while with her new PA and med student.  Great.  Show and tell with the weird disease lady.  I always love this part.  Sigh.  The tiny lady in the cocoon says something like “Wish you could change places with someone, eh?”  I manage a smile and reply “Actually, I am fine.  I have to come here for the rest of my life, so it’s okay.”  She sits up a little bit more.  I get the usual questions and I explain as best I can about how iron tried to kill me 14 years ago right before my wedding.  Just as our conversation starts to get interesting (me reassuring her she will be fine after finding out she is new to chemo), my posse rounds the corner, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  I always feel like an uncommon specimen when my doctor looks at me. I sigh inwardly again for the thousandth time as she launches into my story (as if I didn’t know it).

The nice elderly lady has emerged from her cocoon as her friendly husband arrives as well to drive her home.  He smiles pleasantly.  She isn’t as old as I thought and has dressed rather smartly for her visit today.  My heart lurches and I want her to get well.  She is wearing a nice hat that matches her gold and black ensemble.  What a beautiful butterfly she makes.  She will be okay.  I know it.  At last, my own hero arrives to drive me home.  What a way to start off Mother’s Day weekend, but at least I’m here.

“The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart.”  ~Nikolai Lenin

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2012 in Health, Life

 

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Moving forward…

Life moves faster than expected and slows down at the most inopportune moments.  Tonight was one of the faster moments…and I had no idea how to behave.  You see, it might seem silly to veteran parents of multiple children all spaced many years apart, but my first-born had her middle school orientation.  I came home from work and quickly showered and put on what I thought was a “cool” mom outfit.  She looked beautiful as always, and had to be reminded for the thousandth time to brush her gloriously long, straight, naturally highlighted hair.  She didn’t appear nervous, but I was sure there was some sort of apprehension.

We pulled into the parking lot and saw many parents walking in with their children.  My instinct was to reach out for her hand…mostly because I need it, but I stopped myself.  Hmm.  I leaned over and told her and she giggled.  I am trying to act cool, I tell her in my best mom is not about to cry voice.  Ugh.  What is wrong with me?  It is just orientation and I have all summer.  Calm down.  I can’t stop my racing thoughts.  I hope she sees someone she knows.  Why oh why did all her friends get into the next magnet school and she didn’t?  She got into our zoned school, which is actually quite a coveted school.  I always believe things happen for a reason and she was fine with this choice.  It was my heart that sank when I realized she wouldn’t be with her best friend.  Okay, stop this.  Moving forward.

A pleasant lady shows us where to go and all the teachers are standing near.  Students currently in 6th grade pass out flyers.  They don’t look so bad, I think.  I can do this.  I mean, umm she can do this.  We can do this.  Sigh.  We take our seat and the program starts shortly thereafter.  The place continues to fill up so I ask my daughter to move down a few seats for people who are coming in.  She gives me the “You are embarrassing me by making me move” look.  I tell her it is only polite.  A few minutes later, Sebastian Bach comes in with his daughter and sits beside me.  Okay, so not really, but he looked like he forgot what year it was.  I am all good with that, as I love the 80′s too, but you know, time/place.  By now some students are reading about why they love 6th grade.  This one boy really was good in front of the crowd; however, it wasn’t what he said that moved me.  It was the timid boy, in the halting voice, who said he loved his teachers and the food.  Wow.  I loved him too.  I loved him because it was obviously a struggle for him to either read his card or speak in front of us, but he did it anyway.  I felt tears prick at the back of my eyelids.  Okay overly-emotional-teacher-mom, get over it already.  Let’s do this tour and go home.  As they dispersed us for the tour, we got the funny little guy and I thought that was probably better.  I didn’t want to say anything that would embarrass my daughter further and get the “stare”.  Anyone with a tween knows what that looks like and it is not pretty.  So as we move forward, I can’t help but think all I want to do is go backward.

“My mom and I have always been really close. She’s always been the friend that was always there. There were times when, in middle school and junior high, I didn’t have a lot of friends. But my mom was always my friend. Always.“  ~Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift – Never Grow Up

(Warning: clicking on above song requires tissues as well as Spotify)

 
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Posted by on May 10, 2012 in Children, Life

 

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