Scorpio Season…quiz to learn more.

So somewhere I was reading that on October 22, good ole’ Scorpious enters the night sky.  As a side note, I ignored that whole thing about new Zodiac signs…like a true Scorpio would because, quite frankly, I love being a Scorpio.

Pros to being a Scorpio:

  • We are focused.  We know what we want.
  • We are brave…even when we don’t want to be.
  • We are intensely faithful, which can be a con as well because we really value honesty and trust.
  • We are highly intuitive, which can be a problem at times as well.  We are able to cut right through the lies and the B.S. other people put out.  That makes us a bit scary to some people.

Cons to being a Scorpio:

  • We might, just might, be a tiny bit jealous.  Don’t look at our partners with covetous eyes.  We see you.
  • Unfortunately, we are a wee bit resentful and know when you did us wrong.  We kind of remember that for all of eternity.
  • Betrayals are our wrath points.  We have to work hard to come back from being manipulated or lied to…if we can come back from it at all.
  • We know too much…as in what you don’t say.

Not sure if this sounds like you?  Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t?  Take this fun quiz:

 Remember, I don’t make the quizzes.  They are literally just for fun:)



How Losing Narcissistic Friends Opens Up Space for Good Energy.

I know the title might be shocking.  We never want to willingly lose a friend.  Not really.  But sometimes these things can’t be helped and we need to see them for what they really are.  A blessing in disguise.

As someone who wants to heal others, I naturally attract people who need healing.  This can come in all forms, from past relationships, family members, strangers, yes, and then friends.

What I have come to realize now, is that it is completely normal and even healthy, to lose friends as I grow and wake up to what I am meant to do with my abilities.  I know that I need healthy boundaries, and in the past, was not aware that I was constantly being drained by allowing these friends so much of my time.  Whew.  It was honestly a cycle I didn’t know how to get out of.

Empaths are tuned into feelings at an unnaturally high state.  We have been living this way for our whole lives, so the truth is, we really aren’t aware others don’t notice the same things we do…for a while.  The worst part of it for me personally, was hearing the lie almost before it was said.

Time and time again, I was told things that were simply not true.  I knew it immediately, yet, I truly loved this friend, so I let it pass because I thought there must be a good reason for it.  <<< note, there isn’t.

Narcissists have convinced themselves that the world is truly a bad place and they are the only ones who can be trusted.  They desire to be desired, admired, and sought after.  They rarely question their own logic because they have lied to themselves and others so much, that whatever story they project they actually start to believe.

If you have a problem, theirs is 10 times bigger and the worst so naturally, you end up spending the most time speaking of their issues.  And forget it if you do something that deserves praise.  They won’t be clicking like on that post.

As the narcissist comes in for the win, they find a highly sensitive person/empath who can help them with their problems time and time and time and time again.  If this sounds familiar, it’s time to free yourself from this cycle.

How to open yourself up to good energy:

  1. Start setting up clear boundaries.  If it is your dinner time, and the person really has a need, they can wait.  If they appear agitated, mad, or won’t speak to you for a while because you have to go, that might be a sign.
  2. Take charge of what is your “stuff” and do not absorb theirs.  I try not to type cuss words, but in your head, you know what I mean.  It is very important that you stay level-headed and know that the energy you might feel after talking to them is not your own.  I once described a situation I went through to another sensitive friend, and she said she was grumpy afterward…but recognized it wasn’t my stuff or hers.  It was the residual feelings of what I went through.  Do you ever feel drained, mad, upset at your spouse after talking to a friend?  Yup.  It might have been their stuff.
  3. Find and cultivate a space for high energy and gratitude.  I know that people are often not aware of this, but replacing old patterns of thoughts with higher ones, actually helps us.  It really protects us from that draining feeling and improves our health!  Gratitude opens us up to attract more abundance into our lives.
  4. Forgive yourself and know when it is time to walk away from things that do not lift you up!  I read every night before bed and I write in my journal.  In a nutshell, last night I was thinking about uplifting others and how that feels compared to the energy of being dragged down and trampled.  I don’t know why I never saw it before, but I am so happy I can recognize it now, and steer clear from it.  My intuition always tells me way ahead of time, but sometimes I tamp it down because I truly want to believe the person can change…but the truth is, they have to want that change and many don’t.  Recognize this pattern in your friendships now so you can start to create that space you need for good energy.

Thank you so much for reading, and if you are looking for more gratitude in your life, feel free to find my closed group.

True Health

Using Gratitude to Move Forward in Life!

The news is depressing.  Your feed is depressing.  The world feels…well depressing right now.  It’s like a wet cloak…on a cold day.  You know you need to shrug it off to get warm, but where can you go to find warmth?

You look around to the chaos that is out there and you just don’t know where to go.  I’ll admit that I was like this for a very long time.  Then one day, I really have no idea what changed, but I decided I had enough.  I decided to say one positive quote a day to all my friends on social media.  Then I decided to blog.

If you use the search button with the drop-down of months and you go back a few years to the beginning, you will likely “read” me in a whole different way.  I was diagnosed with secondary depression after getting a bunch of invisible diseases...that had no cure.  Note, that word links to a search on the term “invisible diseases” so you can read my raw, angry, old posts. 

I never delete a blog post though…as I want you to be able to see my progression with not only my health, but my feelings.  As I started to practice focusing on the positives in my life, my life started to change.

I had been stuck, and was slowly, miraculously, getting UNSTUCK in all areas of my life.  I started being able to move again without pain…which was amazing.  I started my yoga teacher journey, which was painful in the beginning yet extraordinary in the fact that I was able to complete 200 hours of Vinyasa Yoga Teach Training.  Me.  Me who had hardly been able to move.

I started being asked to do important work…work that I had always wanted to do like to speak in London.  I wanted to change people’s lives after learning that I could truly move forward in life. 

So what changed?

  1. Me.  I had to get to rock bottom.  It sucked there.  Quite simply put it was like hell.  But one of my favorite quotes always said “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” and I believe ole’ Churchill was right.
  2. I had to tame my thoughts.  Erm mah gosh y’all.  My mind was like a mess.  A hot mess…except I was cold all the time, but you get the picture.  Thoughts create stress, and then the spiral starts.  I wasn’t sure if I was anxious or depressed.  So I did what I do best and wrote about it all to help others.
  3. I started writing more…because that’s what I do best.  I found out how therapeutic writing was and how it changes the thought patterns.  Releases stress and lets you clear your mind.  It literally became an itch in the night on nights the pain was so bad I couldn’t sleep.  I would write it out.
  4. I learned to be grateful.  I am never the same person year after year, and for that I am thankful.  Gratitude in the little things was so important to me.  It helped calm the mind and turn my emotions into a point on which to focus.  The pain was no longer the focus.  The present moment was.
  5. My well-being changed.  There are still days I need reminders.  No one is perfect, okay?  But I practice this constant state of being more mindful than I was on say an off day.  Being more grateful or more appreciative.
  6. Old me got angry really fast…gratitude helped me slow down my emotions.  I am not going to pretend that the Scorpio doesn’t still have her moments; however, I use my sensitive side to tap into the world.  I feel what’s going on, like in slow motion, under the surface, and think about what I can be learning in this situation.  What can I be thankful for?  Sometimes, it’s things like “I am thankful I have yoga.”  But whatever it is, I use it in my head because maybe the other person doesn’t have this kind of support or system and really just needs my compassion at that moment.
  7. Surround yourself with what you want to become…became my mantra.  My quote.  That I use daily.  It was so important to me to be able to offer that gift to others that I recently completed my e-book on journaling with gratitude and would love it if you are interested in joining the journey.

Ultimately, we are on this earth for a short while and I believe I was put here to help others wake up to the fact that we really do have the power to say this is not how my story is going to go.  The truth is, gratitude can move you forward in life and make the unbearable things more bearable.  While increasing your level of gratitude you are actually increasing your health and wellness.  You are learning to change your self-talk and that’s a powerful thing.  I hope to see you in my group soon.  Thank you so much for reading!


Why You Aren’t Happy Right Now…and How to Change That!

One of the top questions I hear is “I am making improvements in my life, why am I not happy yet?”  I get asked this about many things, but in a nutshell, the answer is actually because you really haven’t thought about being happy.  Shock!  I have thought about it a hundred times…you think.  But it drifts off into the sea of other thoughts around what you need to make you happy.  If I only had…a bigger house.  If I only had…a relationship.  More money would really help make me happy.  You then carry on with your day and your thoughts about things that would make you happy.

Lots of people are looking for happiness in the wrong places.  Some people believe happiness comes when they get what they want.  Interesting.  What next?  Do we stay happy after getting what we want then?

Life is a series of complex decisions; however, what if it didn’t have to be.  What if you could declutter your life, get rid of things you don’t want and start over.  Interesting concept.  Downsize instead of supersize?  No way.  Hmm.  But what if?

Many people don’t believe happiness is a choice that only they can make.  I am going to provide you with some tips on how you can choose happiness over and over again, and maybe, just maybe, start to see that is not based off some magical formula, a fairy tale, or even a myth that has been handed down for generations.  Happiness is truly what you make of it.

How to Create Lasting Happiness Right Now:

    • Start a gratitude journal if you don’t already have one.  I know you guys have been watching my weekly talk about this on my fan page when I am Live, but have you started your journal with me?  I am not going to stop talking about it, because we focus so much on what’s wrong, we have forgotten our joys y’all.  I had to throw a y’all in there so you would know I am serious.  Just take a look at your feed.  Count the people who post their blessings…for REAL.  Umm hmm.  Not many, right? Anyway, my exact journal is posted above.  I love it!
    • Clear your space for happiness.  Do you get depressed in a dirty house?  An unmade bed?  Dirty sheets?  No nice smelly things like oils, etc.?  Start tidying up to make room for happiness.  Happiness can start with an intention.  We feel better now because we have done something.  It actually raises our vibration to walk into a nice, clean, insert favorite scent here, room.  I have a diffuser similar to this one to help me feel relaxed and at ease.
    • Work only on what you can change…about you.  So many times, I see people worrying about what others are doing on a daily basis.  The corrupt politicians, the boss, work issues, family who do x, y, z.  All these people have faults just like you.  We aren’t getting anywhere in this world by talking about what we don’t like.  Period.  It has not ever changed one thing in my life.  What has?  Focusing on what I can do to make things better.  Writing articles to help people.  Helping people take back their lives makes me happy.  No strings attached, just pure happiness.  As I work to promote the good I see, things inside of me change as well.  As I help others, I help myself.
    • Practice makes perfect-ish.  I wanted to use this old saying, but let you know that no one is actually perfect.  However, practicing gratitude and changing your focus over and over again can actually change your percentage of happiness.  No Way.  But yes way, because a fancy researcher said so.  According to Robert Emmons, PhD in his book, Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, those who regularly practice gratitude can enhance this set point by as much as 25%.  I don’t know him, but what a cute book.  I am actually reading a similar one…but it’s almost too behavioral study based and long-winded for me.
    • Use a wide viewpoint…and not just a narrow one.  If you consistently see your problems as the only ones, then that creates an ego-based viewpoint of the world.  Be aware of your circle of friends, and what the world is also going through.  Cultivate compassion for others and their needs…but not to the point of using your needs as a basis for inserting it into every conversation.  That still brings it down to a narrow viewpoint.  Social media has made it more “me based” instead of “us based”.  Don’t be that way with your friends.
    • Always keep trying.  Just because you have a set-back, or something sad happens, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel it.  Of course you are.  But don’t stay in that place forever.  Keep on going.  Just like I said last week, you have the power to live any reality you want simply by shifting your thoughts to where you want to be. 



How to Avoid Being Used by a Scammer

A scam can be defined as a fraudulent business scheme.  Sometime we refer to the people who do this as con artists or scammers.  Before the internet, it was actually harder to scam people.  Go figure.  In one of my posts, I mention looking for websites that don’t seem to have a point of contact, photos of the person, or just seem off somehow.  What they are offering you sounds too good to be true.  We are going to explore that just a little bit further.

Scammers, fakes, and con artists have one thing in common.  The story never adds up completely.  They might have built an elaborate web of lies meant to confuse you and others just like you.  They look for a spot where you might be emotionally weak, and when they find it, they go in deep.  This has happened to me before with the sale of a timeshare.  Yup.  Something never added up about the company that offered to sell my timeshare.  Always do a background check.  In this case, I had and nothing was coming up…yet.  Just a feeling that this was wrong.

A few warning signs you might be able to spot:

  1. They seem too good to be true with their credentials, history and background of elaborate stories.
  2. They constantly praise you, reach out to you, and confide things in you that you are not supposed to tell anyone.
  3. They have an uncanny way of staring at you or speaking about themselves as if they are the answer to your needs.
  4. They won’t give you exact details of where the money is going, but they really need it right away.  They appreciate you giving to x, y, and z charity.
  5. Note: If you want to help a charity, do your research and see if they disclose their financials, explain what they do, or even provide evidence of non-profit status.  They should be well-regarded by other organizations in their field and known for their work.  If you can’t find anyone they have previously helped with documented sources and testimonials, it might not be real.
  6. The best type of scams will play off your emotions…be aware of the hook they are using.

One thing that is best for all of us to learn in this digital age is NOT to reveal too much information the person can use.  Keep a healthy distance and observe their behavior.  Oftentimes, they change wording several times on what their end mission is going to be.  They are trying to map out the best copy to get the most bang…for your buck.

These people are actually incredibly adapt at changing their personalities as the need arises.  Most of the time, these people will hide behind their computers…unless they have bigger visions for their plans.  Just note any irrational behavior, anger at you not doing exactly what they asked you to do, or excuses that they use to cover things up.  These people are trying to gain your trust so that in the long run, they can use your wallet.  If someone new in your life is asking for money, it is time to reflect on the above tips and see what happens when you give them space.

If someone is trying to intimidate or verbally abuse you because you have gotten wise to their game, remember, you can walk away and report it to the proper authorities.  I reported the timeshare group to everyone I knew, lodged complaints with my bank against the group and warned many others that it was a scam.  Don’t wait until the person has your money.  Be smart and stay safe.

You might also enjoy this article.

Bad Company

3 Tips for Turning Pity into Self-care!

I was drawn to this post my friend shared today by a famous yoga teacher who I really admire.  She seemed to have a really cool life.  She is young, admired, in shape and really self-confident.  Or so I thought.  She gets to go on exciting trips and travel all over the world…little did I know she was homesick and going through a divorce.  She posted a photo of herself on her social media today and the first person to comment said some ugly things about her being “vulnerable” as an excuse for pity.  Wow.  Harsh.

Interestingly enough, I bet we have all been there though.  Seeing someone’s posts and wondering if they just needed a pick-me-up or were they seeking attendees for their pity party?  The truth is, we all have felt this way at some point in our lives.  We are on the brink of being really vulnerable and wondering if others care.  The flip side to this is we might stay closed off from the world because we are busy thinking we will be judged for how we feel.  The fact is, emotions are like waves.  We can no more control them than we can control the turbulent sea.  We just have to ride it out.

I say this as I am still in the clutches of my own grief on losing a beloved pet.  So I can’t control my waves of grief right now, but there are things I can do to make this time more bearable.  I can turn my pity, of which I honestly feel like I am the only one at this party, into self-care.

3 Ways to Turn Pity into Self-care:

  1. Observe your thoughts as they turn to “why me”?  I recognize that I will have moments of thinking I am the only one who has ever experienced x,y, z.  Since I know this is definitely not true, I use this as an excuse to journal my feelings and explore what is really going on here.  Did someone post a photo of the exact opposite feeling?  Quite possibly.  And what is the exact opposite feeling I want to explore right now?  Happiness.  Love.  Support.  Okay, so now let me list the ways that I feel these emotions I am trying to get to.  Who makes me feel this way or what?  It doesn’t have to be a who…as I can definitely create my own happiness with things that make me feel successful.  So then I go down that path instead.
  2. Don’t open the invitations you get…to go to the other pity parties.  This one might be hard.  So do this one as tactfully as you can, but if you are struggling, the emotions you want to surround yourself with are not going to be more struggle and pity.  Get my drift?  You really want to think about the things that are going well in your life and get back to that higher vibration that allows you to feel good about yourself.  If you can turn it into something productive, like a friend journaling session, or a walk of pity, then go for it, but set a timer.  After 3 minutes, switch and listen to the other person.  Then you must have 3 minutes of praise and success.  Because ultimately, you know that this stage will not last forever.
  3. Make a practice of talking about your joys.  Again, this one is hard.  We always want to talk about what is bothering us…or what we want to change, but feel like we can’t.  What if we talked about all the things that made use feel joy, happiness, and fulfillment in life?  Ask a trusted friend to tell you 3 good qualities about yourself if you are feeling down.  Even better, text them and tell them 3 things you love about them out of the blue.

Opportunities for growth exist as we see our pity for what it really is.  A moment of self-doubt where we don’t feel good enough.  A moment of judgement where we think we should be doing more.  A moment of envy perhaps, where we see the outside of someone’s life and look at the highlight reel.  Go deeper into what is really bothering you and what the opposite of that feeling is.  It is there that you will find your gold.

Like this?  Read more on self-confidence. <<< 


5 Ways to Work Through Grief

As I prepare to write this post, I want to say that grief can come over you at anytime.  Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dear pet, or grief for something you can’t name.  It feels heavy on your chest like you can’t breathe and it stays there for a while.

The suffocating feeling lasts for a while, but after a time you notice you can take a little bit more air in and the knot in your chest starts to loosen.  Maybe you start to feel guilty about that, so you try to hold on tighter and love more, but just let it ease gradually.

Some people I know throw themselves into a million projects, classes, trips, and have literally zero down time.  They are not ready for the grief to process yet.  From what I have observed, this is somewhat like ripping the band-aid off and they are waiting as long as they can.  If that is their process, so be it.  Each person is different; however, if you are reading this, I will try to help as gently as I can.

I am on day one of a new round of grief.  Each time I feel loss it is different, yet the same.  Here are a few things that I have learned.

5 Ways to Work Through Grief:

  1. Sit with it for a while.  The first day, it is very fresh and raw.  You might want the ache to go away immediately.  Acceptance is very difficult.  In fact, we want to do the opposite.  We want to come up with a million reasons why we shouldn’t accept it.  A million “what ifs” or “maybes”.  All the while there it still is.  It has already happened.  So slow down your breathing.  If you pray, speak out your needs, thoughts and silent prayer to help you get through this first day.
  2. Support will come through…and many times it is people who have experienced a grief similar to yours.  As people begin to reach out to you, and they ask you the same thing, “Is there anything I can do?”, take them up on it if you want to just talk.  I reach out to people who I know have experienced a similar loss as mine.  For them, the loss that I have experienced has already brought up those thoughts, especially if they are reaching out.  There is something in that comfort that envelops you and hugs you close and says “I know.  I have been there before and here I am.”  It is comforting and warm.
  3. Work through it on your own time.  It is important to know that it truly is a process, but it is not the same length for everyone.  You can’t just wish it would go away…but you can write it away.  Little by little.  If writing isn’t your thing, you can join a group or speak to a counselor.  There are many online groups as well.  But make sure it is similar to your loss.  There is strength in numbers.  A quiet strength.
  4. Self-care need to be practiced.  When I say this, I mean it.  Eat food.  Make yourself take a small snack even if you are not hungry.  Hot tea.  Crackers.  Soup.  Comfort food.  Take a bath.  Get yourself cleaned up and read a book.  Watch a show that gets your mind somewhere else for a bit.  Make sure you are practicing self-care.
  5. I don’t even want to type this…because it still is raw, but it will eventually feel lighter.  Again, there is no normal here, okay?  Don’t compare your process to others.  It is said we go through denial, numbness and shock at first.  Then bargaining, depression, anger, and finally acceptance.  It is possible your process won’t even look like that, or you might skip parts.  So instead of my saying we go through 5 stages, which might not be true for you, I will say what I know to be true.  Eventually, you will feel lighter.

After some time has passed, the name of a loved one will pass through your lips and you will feel a connection as you say it, and love.  Not grief so much.  I know this is true because it took me many years before I could really talk about my grandmother with laughter again.  It didn’t matter that I knew she wouldn’t want me to be sad or any of those things that I would want for my own family…I selfishly held on to the sadness, and anger, for far too long.

So if you can start up your yoga, meditation, prayer, writing or anything you love to do on a regular basis, do it.  Feel the present moment around you and allow gratitude to come into your heart that you loved so deeply.


How to Release Old Patterns of Thought

ReprogramIt is the first day of autumn officially where I live.  For me, this time always reflects change.  Letting go of things.  Making room for growth.  All before the end of the year.  I know that I have lofty goals, but there’s something about watching the trees shed their leaves that really reminds me of the work I have to do on the inside to stay healthy on the outside as well.

In order to find balance, we have to be ready to do the work.  We have been holding onto fears, worries and troubles from our past for far too long.

You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’. ~Wayne Dyer

I have done quiet a bit of research on pain…both physical and mental pain.  I know that we carry quite a bit of pain around with us from past experiences if we have not yet released it and let it go.  This is evidenced by the fact that when preparing to speak on something once, I could not get through a certain part.  Everything else I could practice just fine, but this one part always got stuck in my throat and my eyes welled up with tears.  It was time for me to be okay with that part of my story.

How did I start releasing what was not serving me?

The first step was to continue speaking it out loud.  You don’t have to tell a room full of people; however, a trusted friend, therapist or counselor will work.  I had to put a name to the emotion I was feeling and that feeling was still grief.  After all these years.  It was time to let go just a little, and step into healing.  So as you begin to let go of this feeling, remember that whatever it was meant to teach you at the time, is long gone by now and we don’t have to stay in that place forever.

The second step for me is to write it down.  It can be in your journal, or as a letter to the universe.  It can be a prayer, or it can be on slips of paper you burn.  Whatever you feel called to do, but write the truth.  I know someone who once said to me that this was the hardest part of her healing journey.  So close your eyes and think of the people, events, setting, or whatever it is that you are trying to release.  Write down the feelings that are caught up in this thing.  Then let it go.  Don’t think on it any longer after you have gotten it out.  If you are afraid you will dwell on it, burn it!  You know, in a safe way that doesn’t catch anything on fire.

The last step is wiping the slate clean.  A nice clean chalkboard.  As a teacher, I would make sure there was not a hint of old chalk from yesterday as I wrote the next day’s lesson on the board.  I loved a clean board.  Visualize that whatever pain you had is truly released and washed away.  Here is where I want to point out that if you are blaming others for something, let it go.

My lesson is on releasing the people who I have clearly seen lying.  Apparently, I am really supposed to let this one go.  I learned people are definitely covering up for something when they lie, but it has nothing to do with me.  I decided to shift my perspective to one of gratitude.  I am thankful I don’t have to lie about who I am to feel satisfied in my life.  I am thankful I don’t have to lie to my husband, or my friends to feel liked.  I see no purpose in it, but clearly it is a defense mechanism for others.

By transforming old patterns of my mind, and bringing my attention to the present moment, I am letting go of things I don’t want to carry forward with me into the next season.

End Your Day With Mindfulness

This one is actually quite difficult for most people to do, but put the phones away.  Turn them off.  Hide them if you must.  Sit at the table and practice eating mindfully.  As we connect to slowing down from our day, take a moment to notice the food.  The taste.  The color.  The time it took to prepare.  Be present as you sit and eat; furthermore, see if you can engage the senses as you bite, smell, and savor the taste.  Be present in your thoughts as you end the day.  Let go of anything you don’t want to take with you for the next day.  Continue this practice daily and you will see an improvement in your mood as well.

release_leavesYou might like this post as well on Tips for living with pain.

Why You Must Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

Today happens to be Monday.  If you have been following for a long while, you know I used to write these “Motivational Monday” posts…but if you search that term, I have quite a few.  So instead of using the broad term now, I come up with something that all of my readers happen to be struggling with based off something that I am working on as well.  Today is no different.

I am changing how I do “Mondays” in my life.  Before I even sit down to look at my fan page, before I even respond to anyone, I am walking with my friend every Monday now.  This is not how everyone else in Social Media Land does their Mondays…I know.  But the thing is, I don’t have to be like everyone else.

Aimee loves writing.

So here’s a funny little story about me.  I have written things since I was tiny.  I have spiral notebooks of the worst poetry you can ever imagine from my teen years.  I have epic papers saved on every literature topic known to man, somewhere in my filing cabinet.  I have children’s stories written and saved and not shown or read to anyone…except my own children.  And then I have the blog.  The blog that I started writing under a drawing of an elf…under a fake name.  Until one day someone said, hey, is this yours?  And I finally said yes.

The cat was out of the bag.

So why was I afraid to be known for something I loved?  Good question.  I think it started because I was afraid to be criticized…and I was writing about very personal things at first.  My health.  My teaching career.  And having a mid-life crisis…except it wasn’t mid-life.  I was just 35 at the time.  Everyone else seemed to have their shit together and I had been falling apart since the start of my career…at 23 years old.  But then something glorious happened.  People started being honest.  They started being real.

People were faking it as well.

People started telling me about different things they went through.  Health scares, and anger.  Depression, anxiety and wondering what was next for them as well.  Living with invisible diseases was like trying to pretend I was “normal”, but I didn’t know what normal was anymore…and apparently, neither did most people.  I was…get this…normal.  So as I looked around at my friends, we dropped the masks.  Yup.  Took them off about 5 years ago, like really took them off.

We got deep and real and said guess what?  Sometimes I wish I had a clean house like so and so.  Or sometimes I wish I was more laid back like you.  And of course my secret, after developing autoimmune, I hate cooking.  So I would look at these moms with their meals and their shit together photos and be like damn.  I don’t even want to think about it.

So how does all this help you?

  1. No one is you.  Repeat it.  Accept the fact that no matter who is out there on social media, in your circle, or in the carpool line, they don’t have the same story as you.  They weren’t raised the same, don’t have the same values, morals and even ethics as you, and whatever they are doing now, might not even make you happy.  You don’t know what they had to do to get where they are.
  2. They might actually be jealous of you.  A friend once stopped speaking to me because I have a supportive husband.  Yes, that was it.  I didn’t know why, and we didn’t speak for months.  Even deleted me off social media.  A mutual friend let it slip.  Wow.  I felt bad for her actually.  She was so unhappy in her life that she couldn’t actually look at my life?  Dude.  That was harsh.  I had no idea.  Hilarious post on beating envy can be read here…after this!
  3. It is okay to have success.  There is not a cap on success.  You can be successful and so can other people.  What if you covet the success of other people because you don’t feel as successful?  Start to think of all the things you do well.  Seriously.  You have accomplished lots and it’s time to be proud.  If your success is that you are taking care of your family, your bills and getting up and going to work without complaining, that is something to be proud of.  Maybe you make the best school lunch in town.  Maybe you do your kid’s hair just so.  Maybe you make what little you have stretch and stretch.  That is still success.
  4. Comparing yourself to others breeds resentment.  I once knew someone so green with envy, she seriously could have turned into the Wicked Witch of the West.  The funny thing was, everyone, and I do mean everyone, appeared to think she was Glenda the Good Witch.  But underneath it all she would murmur, my stuff is as good as theirs.  I don’t see why they’re getting noticed.  She would whisper I can’t stand her.  And then be like heyyyy girl.  Love your hair.  Love what you’re doing right now.  So happy for you.  And start mumbling again.  Whew.  Bye Felicia.  I don’t want to turn green as well.
  5. In the end, focus only on what you can change…about yourself.  Ruminating doesn’t help us break the cycle.  Get over it, get it out, and move on.  Compare yourself to where you were last month…that’s fine.  Compare yourself to where you were years ago.  That’s also fine.  But don’t worry about what others are doing…because if they are smart, they aren’t worried about what you are doing.  It’s a losing battle and one that ultimately is a time-suck.  You are far better off journaling your intentions, your affirmations and your goals.  That’s time well spent.

Start today with a few of these articles to help you move forward.

6 Things No One Else Controls Except You!

I still really love this:  Tiny Continuous Improvements.

And this Motivational Monday on new habits.

Water your own garden

Top 50 John Lennon Quotes

john-lennon-quotesGuest post: by Gregg Prescott, M.S.

50 inspirational quotes from John Lennon. John Lennon was one of those rare people who was more influenced by peace and harmony than living an affluent life. His words were not only deep but inspiring. While John did not lead a very long life, his words remain immortal.

50. “Love is the greatest refreshment in life.”

49. “Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.”

48. “My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.”

47. “That’s what the great masters and mistresses have been saying ever since time began. They can point the way, leave signposts and little instructions in various books that are now called holy and worshipped for the cover of the book and not for what it says, but the instructions are all there for all to see, have always been and always will be.”

46. “Everybody loves you when you’re six foot in the ground.”

45.  “There is an alternative to war. It’s staying in bed and growing your hair.”

44. “My defenses were so great. The cocky rock and roll hero who knows all the answers was actually a terrified guy who didn’t know how to cry. Simple.”

43. “Well, I don’t want to be king, I want to be real.”

42. “Life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing and fighting my friends”

41. “Trying to please everybody is impossible – if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.”

40. “I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people.”

39. “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

38. “One thing I can tell you is you have to be free. Come together, right now, over me.”

37.  “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”

36. “Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.”

35. “Music is everybody’s possession. It’s only publishers who think that people own it.”

34. “Only by trying on other people’s clothes do we find what size we are.”

33. “Produce your own dream. If you want to save Peru, go save Peru. It’s quite possible to do anything, but not if you put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don’t expect Carter or Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.”

32. “Declare it. Just the same way we declare war. That is how we will have peace… we just need to declare it.”

31. “Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realized that the imagery in my mind wasn’t insanity. Surrealism to me is reality.”

30. “When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”

29. “Happiness is just how you feel when you don’t feel miserable.”

28. “If everyone could just be happy with themselves and the choices people around them make, the world would instantly be a better place!”

27. “You know the way people begin to look like their dogs? Well, we’re beginning to look like each other.”

26. “A mistake is only an error, it becomes a mistake when you fail to correct it.”

25. I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.

24. “The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.”

23. “…Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I don’t know what will go first, rock ‘n’ roll or Christianity. We’re more popular than Jesus now. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.”

22. “We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight.”

21. “When I cannot sing my heart, I can only speak my mind.”

20. “You’re all geniuses, and you’re all beautiful. You don’t need anyone to tell you who you are. You are what you are. Get out there and get peace, think peace, and live peace and breathe peace, and you’ll get it as soon as you like.”

19. I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?

18. “Everything is clearer when you’re in love.”

17. “I’m not really a career person; I’m a gardener, basically.”

16. “Sometimes you wonder, I mean really wonder. I know we make our own reality, and we always have a choice, but how much is preordained? Is there always a fork in the road, and are there two preordained paths that are equally preordained? There could be hundreds of paths where one could go this way or that way — there’s a chance, and it’s very strange sometimes.”

15. “Peace is not something you wish for; It’s something you make, Something you do , Something you are, And something you give away”

14. “Why in the world are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear. Why on earth are you there, when you’re everywhere-come and get your share.”

13. “Creativity is a gift. It doesn’t come through if the air is cluttered.”

12. “Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That’s what’s insane about it.”

11. “Love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep on watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”

10. “You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

9. “There are no problems, only solutions.”

8. “There’s nothing new under the sun. All the roads lead to Rome. And people cannot provide it for you. I can’t wake you up. You can wake you up. I can’t cure you. You can cure you.”

7.  “Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.”

6. “There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done

Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.

It’s easy.

Nothing you can make that can’t be made.

No one you can save that can’t be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.

It’s easy.

Nothing you can know that isn’t known.

Nothing you can see that isn’t shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.

It’s easy.”

5. “Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.”

4. “If you want peace, you won’t get it with violence.”

3. “All we are saying is give peace a chance.”

2. “It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love”

2. “It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love”

1.  “Love, Love, Love. All you need is love. Love is all you need.”

About the Author:
Gregg Prescott <a href=Gregg Prescott, M.S. is the founder and editor of In5D and BodyMindSoulSpirit. You can find his In5D Radio shows on the In5D Youtube channel. Gregg is also a transformational speaker and promotes spiritual, metaphysical and esoteric conferences in the United States through In5dEvents. His love and faith for humanity motivates him to work in humanity’s best interests 12-15+ hours a day, 365 days a year

Gregg is a friend of and has given permission to share his article here.  Thank you Gregg!